Mercy, whas' wrong 'round heah?
Yep...Need a new post. But...
does anyone really wanna see them yellow roses bursting in bloom? Or, that the hibiscus at the east gate looks neon against a stormy sky? Doubt it.
Well, what about what'cha cookin'?
Steel cut oatmeal? Which boiled over like Vesuvius on the floor of the microwave when I stepped out to smell the roses.
Serves ya' right--Luther has told ya' that the reason dread diseases is on the rise is on account of folks microwavin' the life outa their food. Oatmeal? Gick!
Uncle's in the woods, I'se fightin' a spring cold, an' thas' all the energy fer cookin' I'se got, sorry to say. But mah point is, thar's no post in that.
Wanna' show 'em the bounty from the garden?
What "bounty"? One cucumber an' one tomato?
(well, why'nt ya' throw that forest of fresh basil in the photo?)
Thar's always what ya' is readin', right?
Heh. How interested does ya' think folks is in human trafficking an' black market chillen'? This current assignment ain't exactly Saturday mornin' fare.
Not that. What about Uncle's book?
Double heh. "Uncle's"? He doan read nuthin' other than the paper lest I pre-read it an' say it's worth his time. I oughta charge him for this service. Help me think of an equitable fee. Technically, they's mah books that Uncle reads.
Youse a little prissy on the topic of books, aint'cha? All I meant wuz, tell 'em about that cowboy book.
Oh. Yep. Thang is, ain't never read Homer Hickam a'fore. Reckon I doan trust him--the name sounds like a spoof to me. So do this plot: Cowboys, homicide detectives an' dinosaurs. Really?
The guy better be good to make these topics stick together. Do it sound like a literary version of CHOPPED? Ya' know--chefs open their mystery baskets an' haul out weird ingredients that they must turn into a winnin' dish: Kelp, licorice an' Kangaroo kidneys. The chef that sticks these ingredients together in a memorable dish wins. If ole' Homer makes dinosaurs an' cowboys stick to a homicide, I'll be back to tell ya'.
Nice basil. Youse cranky today. Nuthin' suits ya'. Could jes' post a link to that Pinterest thang youse been sucked into.
Mercy Maud! Doan git me started on that time thief! I ain't happy that PamOKC, Boxer-Babe, Chick9, an' Moi done lured me into this vortex.
Uhmmm... startin' to see yore dilemma. Wait! Post about yore trip up to the mountains. About all the purty spring flowerin' trees, rushing waterfalls, an' mountain life.
Nope. I'se done that one already --a few years back. We went to the same places. Nuthin' new. 'Cept it's still jes' as heartbreakin' beautiful.
Ya' know what? I gives up. Ain't nuthin' ya' got worth sharing.
Well, I doan mind sayin', "I told ya' so." Now lemme git on back to bed. Uncle will be home tomorry, an' oatmeal woan do fer him. I got this one day to lay low, cain't spare nary a minute of it.
* * *
What spoof name would ya' choose fer yoreself iffin' youse an author of novels?
If y'all could pack the CHOPPED basket, what 4 ingredients would ya put in 'em?
* * * *
As a blog anniversary nod to Boxer-Babe, I adopted her former "shadow boxing" format of arguing wif' mahself. I still think it one of the most amusin' methods I'se seen yet. Happy Bloggerversary, Boxer!!
63 comments:
Ummm... I like steel cut oatmeal, and unless Hon points something out to me I don't watch TV or read newspaper, but I hate the romance novels she reads.
I know how you feel about certain posts, that's why I've felt like I've run out of things to post at times. However, I do enjoy all that you write here.
I do hope that this day was recuperative. Tell uncle he can fix his own vittles tomorrow if you need another day.
Curmudgy,
Mebbe I can save Hon some time, send her a list? ...but not on Romance stuff--cain't abide that genre, I'se deficient in several female genes: doan like to shop, doan like chick-flicks, doan like romance novels, doan like to rearrange the furniture, doan like to go to no spas. I'se useless. Oatmeal, huh? y'all be Scots?
Foamy,
thanky..an' do know what ya mean on postin' when youse empty. Jes post yore photos an' art--thas' always worth a peep.
Uncle came home this afternoon--sweet fella went foraging at the corner market, came home wif some comfort vittles, an' feels like a hero.
Bwahahahahah! I was reading this and thinking.... is she arguing with her shadow? And yes! You were!
Our bloggy community is going through transition and I understand and yet.... well, it was just nice to see a post from you. :-)
I had stela cut oatmeal for breakfast today. With blueberries and sugared pecans. Heaven!
As for Pinterest... I love it. I made two recipes this weekend of things I "pinned." And I also love the community. Can we blame Pinterest and Facebook for the lag in Blog Land?
Hah!
Boxer nailed it .... essential bloggers have been hijacked to the pinterest boards!
On Chopped! ... did you see the one with all Iron Chefs? Amazing.
What I would not put in the baskets is steel cut oatmeal... horrid stuff even if it is doctored up with fruits and nuts. Whomever selects the ingredients for the baskets has an impressive culinary intellect and a mean streak. The judges ... well they are just brave to put some of those offerings in their mouths.
Kudos to Uncle for riding up on the white horse with the victuals. We all need heroes in our real lives, not just in the paperbacks.
I hope you feel better quickly, spring is a poor time for a cold.
I read that Pinterest has about a 95% female membership.
I have avoided both it and Twitter successfully.
Drink some green tea dear... and eat some chicken noodle soup.
I LOVE steel cut oats! I had some this morning as a matter of fact, with dried blueberries and brown sugar. Only I can't make it. I don't have the patience. One of the few things I trust S.B. to do in the kitchen.
I don't read romance novels, unless they're Jane Austin or one of Joyce Carol Oats's Gothic spoofs. If I wrote them? I don't know what my name would be. I've always liked the way Hermoine sounds, though. So odd. And how do you shorten it? Herm?
My chopped box? Green chile, beef liver, yams, bourbon.
Boxer!
Hehheh, took a leaves from yore old pages. A very high compliment to ya!
Grrr! This pinterest thang--gotta cut back. I feel voyeuristic, like lookin' into folks' dreams an'schemes. still, thar's some super ideas--now I'se makin' mah own (cheap! non-toxic) floor cleaner, stain remover, laundry softener. An' meanwhile, seein' what's on yore mind (an' Pam's an Chick9, an not-so-much Moi's.)
Fishy!
I know I know--but I does like bloggin' best. Pinterest works when ya doan feel like talkin', jes' lookin'. Doan even start--the design boards will capture yore like an' ya might never return.
Yessiree, Uncle starred some points.
Youse right--the CHOPPED basket-meister has a mean mean streak. No! Did not see the iron chefs do it. DID see some of the judges compete against easch other--a revelation to them to be on the cooking side of the deal.
FC!
Happy to see ya'. Uh-huh, mostly wimmenfolk on Pinterest, an one reason I really does prefer bloggin'. I much prefer an environment whar' ideas an insights of menfolk balance all the hen scratchin'.
Better today, but the chicken is in the soup pot as I type. Green tea is also dumped in a hot bath wif' eucalyptus oil--clears sinus for about an hour.
Moi!
Me too, love steel cut oats wif' berries an' brown sugar. AN' I put them in muffins--soak 'em in apple juice fer 10 minutes an' add to your favorite muffin batter, minus some flour. Then I can have a muffin an' feel virtuous.
Oh I LOVE Hermoine --fab pen name. ( I'se staked out Octavia, jes' in case I ever put pen to fiction) But I cain't read Romance --arrgghhh! Jes' cain't wade through it. So, ah, what about a murder mystery instead? JCO is gifted, but depressing, not quite Sylvia Plath territory, but almost.
Chopped basket is a toughy, though yams an' bourbon is a good start--does ya akshully EAT beef liver?
My writing alias is:
ThunderWoman
she writes fiction about a woman with real thighs stalking the perpetually skinny women trying (in all fairness) to get them to either show their milkshake deposits or give up their secrets! Poor thing has pursued every bit of metabolic science and every diet on the planet and still she bloats.
Well, Aunty Belle, hate to tell you but Homer Hickam is my real name. Go here and you can see all my books. http://www.homerhickam.com. And you can trust me, I swan. Hope you enjoy The Dinosaur Hunter!!!
Yikes!!
Well, Mr. Hickam, I'se had mah fingers singed on this one--reckon I deserve it--awful bad manners to say someone's name sounds like a spoof. Hope you'll accept my sincere apology. Iffin' I'd known them singin' wires would tell on me, I mighta minded mah tongue a bit better.
Real pleased to have ya' come callin' on the Porch. I'se half way through an article due to editor tomorry 5pm, but after thas' tuned in, I'll be takin' up The Dinosaur Hunter--which I picked up thinkin' Uncle Aloysius might enjoy it. Imagine how much more interestin' yore book will be to us now that ya' stopped in to say, "howdy-do?"
Well, now, we should all go out and buy Mr. Hickam's book!
Yes, Aunty, I have a penchant for calf liver, cooked correctly. Also, liverwurst, fois gras, and chopped liver.
wow!! Homer Hickman came over. Youll need to follow up with a review now. Im coming out of my blog doldrums, im sure that will spark everyone. *guffaw*
Aunty, gave ya a shout out this morning on chickry blog and the new haiku monday assignment is posted. c'mon over.
xoxox
Shoo, I can't believe it took me this long to get back heah!
I'm gonna wade through a massive backlog of email this afternoon and see if I can get to the SENT file to hunt down that email that went walkabout. Meanwhile, I spotted another story you likely already heard tell of.
http://naturalsociety.com/monsanto-bee-collapse-buys-bee-research-firm/
If you can't beat 'e,m, buy 'em out. }8\
I found the errant email... it was addressed to your yahoo account. Is that still valid?
Ever'body, I'se sorry to AWOL. I'se been low sick, no foolin'. I mean sick enough to break down an' go to a doc! Uh huh, thas' some kind a sick fer Aunty since I firmly believe iffin' ya wanna be well stay away from doctor's offices.
Doan know how this happened--highly unusual, but thar' it be. I was really laid low. Mayhap when I went to feelin' poorly, I kept burnin' the midnight oil to get mah assignment in, but it did ME in (yes, editors of the world, some writers DO honor deadlines.) See mah shiny halo, y'all?
Heh. Well, remember that Aunty silence, fer it be a rare thang, and now I'se on the med an' as yakkity as ever.
Moi!
Liver makes me shiver. Liver an' spiders--they's all yores.
Mr. Homer Hickam is a good sport, ain't he? After I'se so rude--still blushin' over that.
Chick9!
No laughin' matter--when ya git outa yore funk, it helps us all. Happy to see ya' out scratchin' about.
Oh? ya saw how Mr. Homer Hickam came callin'? I'se of a mind to invite him over to yore place fer Haiku. An' I will review his book when I finish it--as ya seen in comment above, I'se been hangin' onto life by a hair's breadth the last few days, readin' nuthin' but prescription labels. The best one bein' cough syrup wif' codeine, thank heavens. Am still on Z-pack, but am able to read--an' mebbe write a haiku or two by Monday.
Reckon this is mah week fer visitations by writers, actors or Spice Girls. Pinterest informed me that Doogie Howser an' Victoria Beckham was followin' mah pins--Doogie liked Wodehouse & Jeeves--ahahaha! Y'ain't never knowin' who all the itnernet will fling together.
But...whar' is TROLL????
Sophie Mae?
SOPHIE!!!
Ya keep me worriet, ya' know?? I ain't even seen much of ya' at Florida Cracker's place.
yes, the abporkrinds@yahoo.com is how to reach me--an' I scoured them back emails, but never found yores, tho it be possible I accidentally deleted it. Please resend.
Yore research is very helpful--soon I'll need to send ya a crate of corn or somethin'. I has done two radio shows in past 6 weeks on GMOs an' have an hour long one coming up in Sept. So I'se gatherin' mah petticoats an steppin' high on this topic.
Please doan be a stranger --matter o' fact, why not stop in at Chickory's blog an enter a Haiku--I know youse a clever wordsmith, Sophie Mae.
Sorry to hear you're feeling poorly, Aunty! That's just no good, especially in spring. Is Uncle waiting on you hand and foot?
Doogie Howser is from my 'hood. Nice, nice man.
But Vickie B? The heck you say? I love her. Used to not, but I read an interview with her in Vogue once and it turns out she's a regular scream. Plus those shift dresses of hers . . . perfection.
Good evening auntie belle,
Hope you're feeling better. Chick9 link your site on Pinterest, nice job with all the nice photos. Although I need another site to visit like I need a hole in the head. Can't keep up now.
You and Uncle be well.
A spoof name? OMG, that is going to be tough. Back in my single mom days, my two bets gal-pals and I would often go out using an alias (trying to be someone we were NOT) ... I think I adopted the name Nicole for some reason. But that is not a spoof name. Let me mull on this! Maybe I'll pop over to Pinterest and see if I can find some inspiration. HAHAHAHHAH.
P.S. Hope you are feeling better! What have you been suffering with? I've had a crud all week that I couldn't cough up. Try that on week three of a new job! Not good. Hope you got a good doctor's report.
Homer Hickam wrote a book about his childhood in - I think - West Virginia - called "Rocket Boys". It was made into a movie called "October Sky" - an absolute classic and a beautiful American growing up story. I LOVED it. He's fer real.
OK, I resended it.
Almost missed your Chopped query. Love that show! A while back, I thought of all sorts of things I'd want to see in the baskets, but now I'm drawing a blank. Off the top of my nodding head... black-eyed peas, tripe, moringa leaves, and pink fir apples. Oh, and pork rinds, of course. 8-]
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