Troll's Culinary Throwdown!

(red text is links to the good stuff)


I was thumbin' through some of mah favorite recipes in search of the vittles most suited to the Troll's Culinary Throwdown Challenge. Uncle came along side, "What'cha gonna make me?"

"Nuthin'...jes' lookin'" I replied.

"Fer what?" Uncle had a tone that was nigh to poutin'.

"I need somethin' irristible," I mumbled, turning the page in Bon Appetit, Y'all that Shamu recommended some months back. My eye rested on a Fried Catfish fingers with Remoulade Sauce....


"Well, now darlin', I'se aaahll the irrisitible ya' need. What ya want is somethin' to feed yore irristible man."


Y'all, I jes' din't bother none--mah experience is a man that appreciates his own irristibility is impervious to reality. All I said in reply was,

"It ain't fer us'uns tonight, its fer the blog Throwdown, Aloysius. We's putin' up our best Southern dishes, preferably wif' twist."


"Oh now, thas' easy. Jes' throw some of them collard greens wif smoked ham at the blog an' youse shure to win."

"No, Aloysius, ya' doan git it. Thas' too ordinary. It's missin' the twist. Ya know, like JoLinda's collard greens and sweet corn slaw, that could work. See the twist on regular collards?"

Uncle hrrumphed, "I doan eat no hairy see collard greens."

"Hairy see? Wha'? "

"Hairy See collards--ya know--unorthodox, hairetical greens. Collards ain't fer slaw. Cabbage is."

I couldn't hep it, mah eyes rolled up to my brows. "Cabbage an' collards is in the same family, Aloyisus. "

"Uh-huh, yeah, an' so is me and cousin Maurice, an ' ya see what thats' worth. Why not send in Rabbit Hash wif poached eggs?"

"This is serious" I said. "I'se puttin' Danelion Wine Sangria in, an' maybe yore meanest Sazerac.
I have Lou Nell's famous Orange Crush, carrot and ginger aspic..."

"Gah!" Uncle grimaced "nobody likes aspic. Loser food."

"Reckon you'd be happy to have me post up that favorite Venison Sausage, Fried Sage and Black Olive Pizza, would'na ya'? or how abaout that Venison Osso Bucco wif sun dried tomato gnocchi?

He smiled, "That'd work. It would work. But, I'se thinkin', what about an easy to make thang, somethin reliable-- not frightenin'. It might be slip up on 'em. Everbody liked that skewered pork last weekend."

"Hmmn, thas a good one, Aloysius, Grilled Sweet and Spicy Pork on Sugarcane Skewers. But it ain't as elegant a Goat Cheese and Grits souffle."

"Naw, Belle," he mused," iffin' youse goin' fer grits, send in that rockin' Dove Ettoufee on Kiss Mah Grits. The one I amde in the iron pot down to the camp.

Mah head was spinnin'. I rejected Black Eyed Pea Hummus on Sweet Potato Jalapeno Pita (too hard to make that pita, yummy, but it takes an hour) But kept tunrin' back to the recipe box and pullin' out Chicken and Pesto Dumplings.
All this rich food set me to groanin'...need somethin' light. Somethin'....I knows! We need us some Watermelon Granita wif' Mint to cool thangs down.

Iffin I'se ambitious I'd offer mah wicked, wicked Kumquat and Pecan Baklava, but it's a lotta work fer most folks...sigh. Or, wait!! Rosie's pappy, the fella down the road wif six avocado trees, spoons up a silky avocado ice cream--heh!

Uncle lost interest once I declined to include his favorite Roast Leg of Wild Pig wif' Blackberry Balsamic Glaze.

Truth to tell, mah own head is near to spinnin' jes' thinkin' on it all. I gives up--it's all good an' I cain't settle on the one best dish! I think I'se jes gonna settle fer a nightcap of Cafe Brulot.


P.S.

The blogger dawg ate mah homework!!

I uploaded this post and went to bed ...then woke, went out dew-dancin' to see what the rain brought--see the morning glory reachin' fer heaven??

Then came in to find that blogger et it up mah post--huh?! This heah is the repost




P.S. Fishy's daddy may be a good biscuit maker, but mah Daddy has this best and easiest biscuit recipe

Daddy's biscuits

2 cups of Dixie Lily self-rising flour
1 1/4 c heavy cream
1/4 c milk (if needed)

preheat oven to 450
lightly grease cookie sheet


Sift flour twice so that it is very light, then remeasure 2 cups of the sifted flour into a bowl
make a "well" in center of the bowl, pour cream into well
stir gently & briefly to moisten all the flour and form dough

(trick is to have a "light" hand--do not over mix or dough will be tough. If dough is not moist enough add in the milk

Dough can be patted out and biscuit cutters used, but we jes' drop a dollop of dough by a tablespoon onto the pan.

Bake until jes' turnin' golden brown, about 9-11 minutes.

Splurge wif good European butter (higher fat content) and the best homemade jam ya' can find.

Now how easy is that??