The sitchyation be this:
Bein' the sweet boy he is, Uncle done give AB this apple pad thang. Fer Christmas. An' the next thang is, Apple doan speak cracker...yeah, imagine that. In fact, it doan even speak normal computer.
Does y'all know that the apostrophe key is on a whole other board than the letters on this applecorepad? Jes' try writin'in cracker when ya' gotta change boards EVERY word! Well, it shure takes the huff outa mah puff.
On top of all, the real thang is the corepad thinks it can read mah mind--tries to anticipate what all an Auntybelle might say ---- now THAT is beyond any digiwonder, I can assure ya' of that!
I ain't finished bellyachin' yet. Fer all y'all appleheads, may I jes' note that yore brains is now applesauce. The Core Cosmos done conditioned all y'all to submit, submit, submit.
Try this thought experiment:
Ya' stroll into yore local book emporium. The greeter says, "Howdy do sir! It's a fine day ain't it? Give me a hunnert dollars, an' then go enjoy yore self lookin' around at the books, an note that some of 'em is free fer the takin'." ( Genius tried to change hunnert into gunner, an change 'em into me--it be very tiresome to keep correctin' Genius)
Now who of us'uns is gonna swallow such swill? PAY to look around? Why all the applesauce heads cause that's jes' what the genius appworld demands--pay into a I Tune Gestapo even iffin' y'ain't got no plans whatsoever to buy nuthin', only get the setups fer Blogger or YouTube.
Well, Of course, I'se informed The Street of mah ire, an' is pleased to note that they got the memo, an Issued a Core-ective, as ya' can see by the stock price of Apple, Inc.
Fer thems of y'all invested in applecore, send the Cores a wee hint, let the free apps be free, an AppleAunty might lift her hex offa their stock. Oh, an stop try in' to be a genius, regular intelligence gits Cracker speak jes' fine.
Dear Rush Limbaugh, this heah blog post ain't no liberal swipe at the EIB Empire--long may it live. I know youse an AppleHead, an a big defender of Apple Stock, an' thas' 'bout the onliest slip up of yores I can think up--On most thangs youse got the good sense to agree wif' AuntyBelle. As a matter of fact, I'se considered invitin' ya to do a guest post on the BACK PORCH, jes' to chap the libs that lurk. Next time I'se in Palm Beach ( I do come slummin' down theah from Central Florida onc,'t in awhile) I might poke mah haid in to get ya' to show me a thang or two on this applepad thang. An', jes' to keep it even, I'll bring ya' one of mah books, cause it be a topic thas' heatin' up this year. Once again, apologies iffin' I'se hit a tender spot on your Applephoria Meter.