Junque House Blues

NOTE: discussion continues on Back Porch.

Well...ya know thangs never go as planned.

I thought I could git some SERIOUS clearin' done--but I ain't hit a lick at a snake since I confessed to all y'all of mah plan.

(yeah, meant too--really, no REALLY! I ain't havin' second thoughts on hoardin' this stuff another year--but Granny has a friend who done took a dreadful spill an broke her arm and leg --is now in rehab, ain't got no folks in these parts..so ya can figger who is tryin' to hep the ole soul git her laundry done, ferry her clothes and pillow an' such...yeah, shiny ain't it? mah halo, real shiny.)

But anyhoo--I has round up some stuff to toss an' I has managed to git the Christmas stuff outa the house an into the buggy barn--an now I hafta' figger what to let go to new homes, to Good Will or to ....any claimants.

Ready fer a peak into mah Life Wif' Ole Junque?

Well, first thang is to say right plain how some of this is Uncle's stash...

he could use a day of kite flyin' so I'se keepin' this one, jes' in case....

But do he need all these ole bottles??? He thinks he's gonna bottle his own amazin, bourbon based BBQ sauce?

On to then funky sweater category--this heah has to be the take-the-cake winner fer schmaltz!! I mean, the whole history of Peru on one chest?

Ladies, admit it--din't ya always envision yaself wif' the risin sun on one mammary, and a rain cloud on the other?

shinin' or rainin' down on the river wif natives rompin' amid the primitivo animals? A few tropical trees runnin' along the ribcage?

Need to see more? Will fish in an pirrana pond do it fer ya?

WAIT, thar's more! Check out the back--awwww, ain't jes' PRECioushhh? Night night time in the Amazon, the moon shinin' on the cheetah (huh? Do they have cheeth species in South America??)

Funky sweater, Christmas selection--uh huh, them is Gulliver size holly leaves an' berries.

Looky at this! !I used to love this ole marcacite barrett. (Aunty had looooong hair onc't) Throw that up on yore haid fer glitter when life seems too dull. heh.

THis heah ain't junkque, I love 'em, but Aunty doan wear no Spanish combs in her hair no more--mebbe I oughta have 'em put in shadow boxes? Ideas?

here's them funny earrings I mentioned to Boxer Babe--doan know what they's made of...but I doan wear this color much no more....

Okay, here is a neurosis--I cain' bring mahself to toss irons into the heap. I doan know WHY, since Aunt DOES NOT IRON, other than state ocasssions like antique Christenin' gowns.
But I buy these new fangled version of the thangs thinkin' mebbe I will take up the chore? (trouble is I wears too much cotton, ole times here not forgotten, look away, look away...oh, sorry). But hey! Wif' the NWO economy, I'se bettin' mah neighbors doan even have irons no more, an come the Hard Truth Days, I might can barter on ole iron fer somebody's plunger--I doan know.....

But truth is, every year I has to re-organize a trillzillion books--none is junk, but the titles scare the young at heart so I tried to haze it up some fer the photo...but ya DO see the disorganized mess I gotta git straight afore mah mind is as messy as mah book shelves???

Some well meanin' dear thought a these Package Bow bookends might hep me some...they have to GO!

Y'all is dear to go through this exercise wif me! I'se still confused: What to toss, what to recycle. No wonder Aunty's place is takin' on a tinge of that ole lady emporium look--sigh.

I reckon I can toss these stale M& M's.


Big Shamu said...

Does anyone really eat the Presidential M&Ms?

sparringK9 said...

man those spanish combs are great! grrrrherherhahahahahahaha! ro decorations on ya mammaries. thats funny aunty! old irons are great for batik / when its time to melt out the wax resist. put those up on craigs list somebody will come and get them. or you can alert the big dog and he can wrap one up and give it to me for our anniversary. howwwwwwwwwwwl

moi said...

Oh man, I think that Christmas sweater is the ne plus ultra of all Christmas sweaters! Definitely gotta go :o). That barrette and those combs are beautiful, though. You may want to try to eBay 'em.

Aunty Belle said...

Big Shamu, Puddin'

Only the red & blue ones, the white ones is blah.

K9, Pup

the iron is yores! Like them combs huh? Silver on amber --purty ain't they.

Moi, dahlink,

I know--gheeeee! AN it is all stretched out and saggy on account of them holly leaves bein' embroidered wif marine rope or somethin'.

R.Powers said...

I have those m&ms too. Those are busy sweaters ... I imagine people might stare, not meaning to be rude, simply needig time to take it all in.

darkfoam said...

dear aunty belle,
please tell me that both those sweaters were presents...

moi said...

Here's a confession: I iron. Seriously. I think I must be the only woman my age left in the universe who can do a man's shirt in 2 minutes, 4 seconds, flat. THAT skill outta help me in the NWO economy don't cha think?

Jenny said...

I used to iron my Dad's shirts for 10 cents a shirt (I was an entrepreneur at an early age.) I may have to challenge Moi to an "Iron Off" because while I don't like to cook, cleaning and ironing are two skills well trained into me. :-) As for your pretty "jurory" I'd love to help you make something nice to display those. Acryic box, with a velvet back? So many possibilities! And as for those sweaters? There has to be a way to make pillows or something out of them, because they are just too good to leave in a closet or toss out to Goodwill.

My next junk post will be up this week after Mute Monday!

Keep cleaning, Aunty.

Anonymous said...

Those knit figurative sweaters can be re-fabricated into charming Christmas ornaments, mobile, etc for babies. Any of those elderly ladies you glow for sew?