9.23.2011

Haiku Monday: Hunter-Hunted ( no rules)

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HAIKU MONDAY: HUNTER/ HUNTED




As y'all may know, Uncle's End Zone Dance wuz selected by the inscrutable Czar as winner of Monday's Haiku. Now, the fella in mah life is strutting around like a puffed out gobbler--wow,
thanks, Czar.



Now Uncle is on deck to choose a new theme an' judge the entries. One trouble be that Uncle ain't a "computer geek" (his words) which means, he ain't got no blog. An' that translates into Aunty hostin' Haiku Monday for September 26th. Please go harass all yore blog buddies an' bring a full complement of Haiku-ers to the Porch so we'uns can git us a good hoedown fer Uncle to pick an' choose from wif' glee. The more the merrier, he said. Enter as many Haiku as ya' feel inspired to write.



The other trouble is that Uncle is a rebel--meanin' the rules of judgement is, ah, not so discernable. I has explained an'
explained to Uncle the rules. He doan care. He say the ONE rule he will abide by is 5-7-5 . ( newbies, that means the first line is 5 syllables, the second line is 7 syllables, the third is 5 syllables). He doan care if the word "hunter" is in the Haiku. Allusions can elude Uncle. I mentioned the kigo (seasonal reference) but he mumbled, " thas' a given wif' this theme." He say top consideration will go to what, "sounds good to me when ya read 'em out to me, Belle." Other points is gained when ya' add some wit; Uncle desires to be entertained by this exercise. One other note--Uncle say visuals will be used as a tie-breaker if mayhap thar' be two Haiku of equal merit.

Fer y'all who's purists, check wif' Master Basho's ghost fer more complete Haiku rules of engagements.



I tole the man that I think Hunter/ Hunted has been done, why not go for "prey" but he waved that off, "Prey is part of hunter/ hunted." So--apologies fer the repetition of theme.

(I'se away fer the weekend speechifyin'. I will look in as I can but it might be spotty.)

Basic entry arrangements:

enter yore Haiku on the Front Porch in combox (and yore own blog too iffin' ya' choose)
enter as many Haiku as ya' please
enter by midnight Monday 26th PST
judgement falls Tuesday 27th before mah plane tak
es off.

Good luck to y'all!

62 comments:

moi said...

You know what? I think there's a book--part romance, part comedy, part . . . caddish-type stuff--in your and Uncle's relationship :o)

Aunty Belle said...

Giggle....

Moi--we's been in a amused stand-off since day one. I expect the ground over our coffins to buckle an' settle, buckle and settle...buckle an' settle.

Troll said...

I agree with Moi on the book. Or maybe a sit-com.

Don't take this the wrong way but I like Uncle's criteria MUCH BETTER than that rigid "Wise-Geek" thing you cited last time. The one that said "there MUST be a kigo" and "kireji MUST be a specific form of punctuation."

moi said...

Also, I think it might be very Uncle-ish if we were also required to write these haiku while tipsy on bourbon.

Boxer said...

I'm in. Mostly because you played the "Uncle" card. Well done.

:-)

Have a fabulous weekend!

Troll said...

Congressional Oversight Renga

Is Issa tracking
the dirt that will bring down the
Obamanation?

A.C.O.R.N.ucopia there.
Shooting ducks in a barrel.

Fast-and-furious.
Solyndra. GE Tax-Free.
Union Goon kickbacks.



Uncle,

Renga is:

5-7-5
7-7
5-7-5

Short ones, like that above, are often acceptable in Haiku contests.

foam said...

ya leavin' tuesday already??
travel safe ...
here's one of the few french phrases i know. every proper foam knows it and i thought i'd share it with you:
"Une bière, s'il vous plait!"

and i reckon i'm in for the haiku.
i do hunt after all. why, just this morning i was hunting for matching socks ..

SophieMae said...

Idano if I'll be able to put pen to virtual paper this weekend, but just off the top of m' head (pun intended, heh)...

Spectacles amiss
Alas! blind in one eye can't
see out the other

It's a stretch, I know, but a 20-second thought process rarely yields a masterpiece. 8-}

Wish I COULD come down your way for a spell. Can't even go to town right now. I'm learning, in my dotage, that sciatica can be a real pain in the b***. >:\

Curmudgeon said...

morning mist elks scream

a shaft glides on deaths fleet wings

miss, no meat tonight

Hey Unk I just this minute finished polishing up a humorous entry mostly about camping but it's really huntin. It's no literary master piece but it's funny.

chickory said...

i love those Euro-mounts. tell unca i need a haid for the cabin. winner of haiku gits it.

czar said...

Aunty, you may want to explain to Uncle what an Internet troll is -- in the generic sense, of course. And, in lieu of a visual, read to him the urbandictionary.com definition 2 for troll bait.

The Internet—Always in Season

Retort, whine . . . or run:
Easily disturbed posters
can’t resist the lure.

Curmudgeon said...

perfectly hidden
Sneaking quietly I pounce.
at last my car keys

You guys shouldn't have started me on these, I have nothing better to do.

pour la faute de mieux (for lack of anything better)

K9 said...

This place in Texas?
captive exotic game; false
trophies for impotents.

Karl said...

Good afternoon Aunty Belle and Uncle,

This should be fun.

Hunting we will go,
It's heigh ho, the dairy-o,
Hunting we will go.

@ Curmudgeon: Good ones.

SophieMae said...

Since I can't do much right now but seek a non-painful position, my brain started to kick in. It's pretty rusty, but I'll give it a go.

Nowhere else to go...
Baying, gnashing fangs below.
Treed! a coon's nightmare!

And I can't help but continue the thought with, 'Knock 'im out, John!' 8-]

foam said...

gliding and soaring..
keen eagle eyes spot target.
sharp talons sink deep.


the job hunt is on..
writing, calling, searching hard.
will it be for naught?

Princess said...

I got treee hats for thr ring this week! And a Post up at mine soon.

good luck with the judging Uncle and have the most wonderful of holiday trip Aunty!

1.Momma’s Grizzly Bared

Fox Lies: Laughable!
Release the media pack
Vixens’ ruse revealed…


2. Dick Shoot

“Howdy Dick! I’m here!”
Bang!...“What ya do that for? Huh?”
“The Quale suit looked real”….

3. A hand in the Bush.

In Afghanistan…
We’ll play “Find that Bin Laden!”
Pakistan? Who Knew?

DeepBlue said...

Howdy Aunty and Uncle!

Just as I was ready to force myself in following the rules of haiku, there's Uncle giving us all a break! YAY! I love you! ;)


A Night's Prey

Cocktails and high heels;
She browses the meat market.
Illusion of Love.


I don't think I'll have time to cook up a post on my blog.


Oh, Hai Troll, Princess, Moi and everyone!


My dear Aunty, I hope our sojourn in the land of my ancestors be memorable. Yes, French can sometimes be a pain in the you-know-where, but there are nice folks.

Bon Voyage, Tatie!
Hugs
Jon

p.s. Tatie = Aunty ;)

p.s.s: @ Curmudgeon : LOL@ "no meat tonight"! Good one. And the one about your car keys... awesome!

foam said...

and one more: i reckon i'm making up for having missed auntie's haiku hosting session ...

aurochs, stag and horses..
ancient hunters on the prowl.
lascaux's art remains..

Boxer said...

I'm up with a visual and here's my entry:

Eagle eye fixed
Races gulls for morning feast
Returns the victor

K9 said...

@foam. lascaux is supreme.

foam said...

oops, i need to make a change with the lascaux haiku...

that's supposed to be horse instead of horses:

aurochs, stag and horse ...
ancient hunters on the prowl.
lascaux's art remains..

Aunty Belle said...

WOW!!

Fantastic entries--woo hooo!!

Would comment on each but, am near to comatose from a very hard weekend on deck. Fergive me folks. But these is really really good --an fun!
Porr Uncle--wif' no RULEs to go by, how in the tarnation do he think he can pick a winner?

thanky y'all--love such a grand turn out fer Uncle's first ever Haiku hoedown.

Pam said...

Hi Auntie! Can't wait to hear more from Uncle. This should be good ;)

Here's some from me.

BLACK FRIDAY: (does not apply to me)
Up before dawn to
be there when the doors open.
Bargains to be found.

OUR HOUSE:
Sally Cat pretends
to sleep so silly Sterling
will leave her alone

SAW THIS WEEKEND:
Vulture sits atop
a telephone pole; he waits.
Looking for road kill.

Curmudgeon said...

I hope you have a great trip. Don't forget photos of mont st michael. If someone sounds like they have popcorn stuck in the back of their throat, don't give them the heimlich manuver.It's how they talk.They honk too. I'm sure you will have a great time.

DeepBlue said...

@ Pam: WOW! Love your Sally Cat. That's my winner! Sally Cat... silly sterling... I like the music of it!

I finally put up some visual...
funny... but when I posted my haiku yeaterday, I thought we were Monday!

Have a great day y'all!
Jon

fishy said...

OH my goodness! I hope Uncle has put judging on his appointments calendar.
His hunt for the winner is going to take some time!


I'm up with visuals at the Pond.

QUEST:
Nostrils quivering,
eyes scanning left to right.There!
Bass Pro Shops Outlet

INDIAN LORE:
Run quiet.Swiftly.
No twig snap. No rustle. Breathe
lightly to the kill.

PONCE DE LEON:
Rise forth as maidens.
Again! Shall you, bliss with me,
in youthful fountains?

GLORY SEEKER:
Diving at Tarpon,
spring waters freeze every thought.
No bounty for fools!

Fleurdeleo said...

Deep Blue, I can see the leopard bandage dress while reading "A Night's Prey." And, Fishy--"Ponce de Leon" is very nice!

Here are my two:


Fireflies aglow.
Heavenly summer evening
(outside the glass jar).


Minutes, hours, years.
Age comes with every clock-tick.
(Nothing personal).

Pam said...

I love Deep Blue's nightclub hunter ... I was trying to find a way to do one similar.

BUT, are you going to France? TELL ME!

Troll said...

I'm up at the Stroll.

Greek Nimrod Version One

Orion's stars said:
"Stay away from Scorpios!"
A stinging rebuke.

Greek Nimrod Version Two

Orion's stars said:
"Stay away from Scorpios!"
He didn't listen.

In Greek Mythology (some versions) Orion goes hunting with Artemis and threatens to kill all the beasts of the Earth. So, she has a giant Scorpion sting him. Sort of an early version of bag-limit enforcement. And something we should consider reinstating!

moi said...

Ooo, Troll owes me a coke:

Bejeweled and aglow,
Athena-felled swain commands
autumn’s inky skies.

Master Basho's Ghost said...

Kitsune Kami

He tricks Samurai.
He possesses the Geisha.
This sly fox hunts us.

Rafael said...

Autumn’s Eve:
Earlier to rise
Longer still to cast its snare
Darkness feeds on light

Quench:
Prowl the barren land
Smell the blood of beaten heart
Wet upon my lips

Lone Wolf
Mind’s eye turns to self
Smell of hunger stills the air
Thirsty for the kill

Great stuff this week! I especially like the ones from Curmudeon; a couple of real rib ticklers!

RafaDe

fishy said...

ON THE SCENT:
Standing motionless,
all five senses clamoring;
Blowfish smells supper!

the above was hijacked from below


SURVIVAL:
Standing motionless.
His every sense clamoring,
SixPoint wins this round.

Karl said...

Good evening Aunty Belle and Uncle,

Howdy all, what a fine turn out. So many truly entertaining perspectives on the hunt.

The win:
Spiny antenna.
Hawaiian sling hideaway.
Yea, No Conch tonight!

The loss:
Spiny antenna.
Hawaiian sling hideaway.
Darn, lost another spear!

Rafael said...

Hai Jon, per your suggestion, I've added a link to my new blog for the "visuals". http://ramblingsfrommytyper.blogspot.com/

Aunty, I promise, it is safe for all constitutions!

Rafa

P.S. Where's CoreyJo?!? I know she's UP!

Intuitive Eggplant said...

What a great turnout, and such excellent entries! Wishing Uncle happy judging and Auntie happy travels!

Again, I'm haiku-less, but did finally manage to get a post up about a fab Restaurant Week dinner meeting a sister food blogger for the first time. How I wish I could share a meal with each and every one of you :)

Anyone joining in the Culinary Smackdown? The theme is Oktoberfest, the deadline is Friday, and it's hosted by my lovely "blogger blind date" and RW dinner companion, Stephie of Small Girl Adventures: http://smallgirladventures.blogspot.com/2011/09/brotzeit-bread-time.html

Bon voyage, Auntie - can't wait for your tales when you return.

xoxo, eggy

CoreyJo said...

Even though each haiku can stand alone, together they tell a story. Enjoy


The Hunter:

Searching for his prey,
he prowls deserted alleys.
Ah! Footsteps at last..

Visual #1

The Hunted:

Echoed breaths taunt.
Fear grips her, paralyzing.
He lunges, she flees.


The Chase:

Devious laughs ring loud,
chasing her throughout the night.
Evil closes in.


The Kill:

Vigorous struggles.
Absolute domination.
Deaths kiss: Sweet release.

Visual #2

I hope I made it in time I mistakenly posted this on last weeks post! Oops!! If you want to see the poems on my blog with the visuals, click on the following link.

Monkeys & Windex

~CoreyJo

SophieMae said...

What an array! If we was votin', reckon I'd cast mine for fishy's 'Survival'! Sure is a lotta talent on this page.

Anonymous said...

What a turn out!!y'all made this such akoolio
HM!thanky

I'se hopin wi fi is on the bird--dashin'
Thru concourses--Uncle readin' me his
Favoites---hate hate hate no tome for full
Rundown-idrat!

But stay tuned in case I can post from air
Tho
To put all out of suspense the winner
Was almost Deep Blue with Night's Prey
An' f
Foamy wif job hunt,
And Karl"s libation, an' TROLL's RENGA wa
Smash hit--but is it Haiku?

4ophie's treed coon got to Uncle, but in
The end?
No meat tonight--CURMUDGEON!! The wit takes
The prize fer Uncle's rules.

So dear Cur--post Master Basho
On your sidebar, announce next wee''s them and
Host if ya will--or throw it to Troll for a
Long pass iffin' youse shy to judge--
Cause it be so hard!!

Aunty--who hopes she will be able toost
blows all y'all a hug goodbye

moi said...

Bon Voyage, Aunty! Travel safely and if you have access to WiFi in the sky, go for it. I used it for the first time ever last week and it sure helps the time pass quickly.

I look forward to a fabulous report when you get back. Or maybe, even, from the road.

And I wish Uncle all the best in picking a winner. I wouldn't be able to do it :o)

DeepBlue said...

Sorry Moi, but hasn't the winner been announced. I know this little french-canadian polar bear has a hard time following Aunty's colorful accent but if I'm not mistaken, that little red critter, namely Curmudgeon won the trophy:

Kongrats Curmy!

Have a great week everyone!

SophieMae said...

Excellent choice, Uncle! Congrats, 'mudge'! 8-]

Aint B, as my precursors would have said: Turas math dhuibh! And once you light, Ith gu leòir!

The one phrase that will be most useful to you in your journey: Ce monsieur (or cette dame) va tout payer. ;)

Curmudgeon said...

That's cause I'm blushing blue. Big surprise. There were so many awesome ones I didn't even consider winning. Thanks Unk

foam said...

congrats to the curmudgeon! well, deserved win.

and i'm getting a kick out of the judging being done on the run .. :)

moi said...

D'oh, Deep Blue, thanks for pointing out my oh-so-leaky brain.

Congrats CURMUDGEON! Job well done. Looking forward to your theme.

Troll said...

No separate post for winner?

Curmedgeon asked if I can host in his stead and I can't.

So,... I dunno. Maybe he'll change his mind or we skip a week or someone will volunteer or whatever.

czar said...

Great win, Curmudgeon, in a very, very tough week.

Curmudgeon said...

The last two weeks were the first I ever wrote a haiku. I'm not sure how to host anything so bear with me. I won't post any thing for a week so leave haiku's on the chili post at the top. The topic is fog for all you misty scary people out there people out there.Same rules as uncle's. Troll, what am I supposed to post? Thank's again

DeepBlue said...

@ Curmy: How about just creating a new post titled "Haiku Monday - Fog" and simply put the text you placed on your side bar as intro to that post. People will then leave their haiku in the comment box.

I think it'll be less confusing! just sayin'

Rafael said...

@Curmudgeon:
Congrats! Loved your wit and humor...AWESOME!

Don't be nervous, though, we don't bite...well, Corey Jo might, just don't go down any dark alleys and you'll be fine.

Best part about judging is you can't be wrong! Misguided...?!? One never knows, but NEVER WRONG!

Have fun with it--

Rafa

CoreyJo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CoreyJo said...

Congrats Curmudgeon! Well done.

Don't listen to Rafael, he likes to tell stories. *glares at rafael* If anyone ever ran into me in a dark alley they would find me the one Running scared. *smiles innocently* :)

Can't wait...see you Monday!

~CoreyJo

Rafael said...

@Corey Jo:
I DON'T tell STORIES! Truth hurts when it slaps ya' nekkid!!!

If your panties weren't in such a bunch, maybe it wouldn't sting so...tra la la...la la

Rafael

CoreyJo said...

@Rafael→ *nyah*

DeepBlue said...

Now, now, now kids, behave yourself. Don't take advantage that Aunty Belle is not home to start mischievin' otherwise she'll have to send you to your rooms and ground you for a week as soon as she gets back from France!

Rafael said...

@CoreyJo:
Nice, real nice...now everyone's gonna think you're French (not to mention a 5 y/o).

@Aunty:
Sorry, sometimes I can't help myself. I'll be quite now.

Rafa

CoreyJo said...

@Rafael→Fine! *sniffs*

Sorry Aunty. I'll behave too.

~CoreyJo

moi said...

Heh. When Aunty's away . . .

Anonymous said...

now now, chillens --y'all play nice.

Post comin' soon.

Anonymous said...

Hi all, Curm got me started by inviting "redheads" to join the Haiku Monday thing in his comment on my sister's Blog. The Haiku I joined was fun, so now I am back from hunting myself, here is what I have to say initially:

Uncle’s choice is right;
Hunting season is here now.
Nimrods are all out.

More likely to follow.

Red

Benjamin said...

Since I can't do much right now but seek a non-painful position, my brain started to kick in. It's pretty rusty, but I'll give it a go. Nowhere else to go... Baying, gnashing fangs below. Treed! a coon's nightmare! And I can't help but continue the thought with, 'Knock 'im out, John!' 8-]