P.S. New Post on finding laughter at Ether Capacious
P.S.S. New BACK Porch post, too.
He picked me up sixteen minutes after our agreed time. I din't fret none. After all, it were his show, his treat. "We need to be on time or we'll miss the opening speaker," he said. Agile fingers tapped the screen of the GPS thingy on his buggy. "Got it! " my young friend barked. "It's only seven miles, we'll make it, with any luck."
After a few turns I asked, "Whyn't we takin' Lazy Lane? I think it's shorter."
He barely shook his haid, "No Aunty. Look at the screen. The route takes us up past Market Square to Cypress Boulevard."
"Well, Sugar, I see that, but Lazy Lane is shorter."
One eye on the road the other on the touch screen, his fingers tapped in new coordinates. "See? The Lazy Lane route is 8.2 miles. It's not shorter. I'm right."
Sigh. I oughta learn to keep mah mouth zipped.
"Well, the miles may be shorter yore way, but the distance is shorter via Lazy Lane."
A grin spread across mah companion's face, "Aunty, shorter in miles is shorter in distance. Seven miles is a shorter distance than eight miles."
Like a terrier, I couldn't leave it alone.
"Mebbe sometimes it is," I replied.
"Sometimes?" he queried. "Oh you are fun-ny"
"I reckon I'se figgerin' that time is our measure. The time distance is shorter on Lazy Lane, 'cause it is one way all the way from Lakeview to Cypress Boulevard, wif fewer stoplights," I said, tryin' to keep pique out of mah voice.
He looked away out the driver's side window, then back to the front, eyes on the road.
"I see your point. You meant it is quicker, not shorter."
* * *
I'se not sure what this post is about. How two brains see thangs differently? When to hush up? How two different perspectives can both be technically correct? How different decisions are made based on the same goal? Why folks feel the need to be "right"?
What is the real meaning of "distance"--how "far" is it in geographic terms? Time travel terms? Energy spent to get thar' terms? If ya paddle up river against the current or down river wif the current, the first takes a sweaty, exhausting hour, the latter takes an easy 15 minutes, is it the same "distance"?
Hope yore weekend is a good one.
22 comments:
Great post, Aunty, and i like the questions and points at the end. Why do some of us argue our points to death? Why do some of us insist the sky is blue while others say it isn't so and we are seeing the same sky? Then there are other factors to consider...this way is the pretty way. That road goes by my ex-husband's house (that I'm still in love with) and that road is where the speed trap is and Officer Callahan waits.
One time I was driving alone from Sydney up to Queensland (Austrlia) about a 12 hour drive. I looked at the map and thought, why not take the mountain road, it would be so pretty and is more direct. The road ended up being a one way gravel road with no guard rails all the way up the mountain, and falling rocks, DO NOT STOP, La Diva was white knuckled the entire two hours. The distance was shorter but the bumpy road made my muffler break in half and I ended up stopping in a country town and got it welded for $10. Not sure what the moral is to my story either except that things, and roads, are not always as they seem! Have a great weekend, Aunty! x
Aunty,
it's always a challenge to measure the distance between two thoughts.
Hope you arrived to your destination on time, in good spirits and every body had a fine time.
good food for thought. needing to be right? well it get that esp. recently. make you case and let it go. I remember once with V we were driving around up in the mountains and V saw on the GPS a "short cut" and wanted to take it. I said -thats weird -theres a gorge between point a and b. he believed the GPS. you know the rest of the story.
backtracking is some of the worst driving miles you will ever do. grherhahahahahah
LA DivaC!
Is ya full of seafood? oh Chile' that Key West staycation is callin' me after readin' yore adventures.
Noddin' mah haid to all that ya say--but I does need one wee clarification:
"That road goes by my ex-husband's house (that I'm still in love with)..."
Does ya mean still in love wif' the ex or wif' the house? Oh, silly question, huh? of course it's the HOUSE. Hee hee.
Fishy,
The distance between two thoughts in two different brains? light years in some cases! I onc't had a math teacher whose every thought wuz on another plane. No way to get theah from heah.
Chick9,
heh...yup, backtrackin' is a long cold quiet ride.
But I'se made at least one similar mistake wif' "shortcut" attempts. Only...I'se in Spain. On the map? it looked like a savings of a couple of hours--whyn't I wonder why it weren't the published route? Cause I'se even stooopid-er in Spain than heah.
Mercy! It were summer but the road went so high thar's white stuff on the road. A florida lady takes awhile to figger out that it is snow, cause she doan know snow can happen (or remain) in June. Does ya know they ain't many guard rails on Spanish mountain roads? Even when the "road" is a medieval oxcart path? I called on every saint in the litany to hep me git that buggy down off that mountain wif'out flyin through the air.
You were trying to get to something on time.
Your route was quicker.
It's a no brainer.
Follow Aunty's advice.
Is Uncle hosting haiku on monday or what?
Quicker vs shorter, plus one husband playing with GPS unit got us to a gravel pit, surrounded by soybean and cornfields in sw Minnesota. We were headed for our daughter and son-in-law's house, which I have driven to in dark, daylight, rain, snow, etc. I know how to get there! He had us so lost the "unit" couldn't get a bead on where we were, fortunately s-i-l grew up running those roads as a kid and knew where we were. Like LaDiva says, roads are not always as they seem.
As a runner, all I do is obsess over time/distance constructs. It gets a bit weird . . .
As a traveler, I have come to hate GPS, Google Maps, and MapQuest, because they are STUPID! Techno Junkie S.B. follows them, I go with the Atlas, and guess who doesn't get all tangled up?
Anyway.
I'm up with the Haiku for this week.
Hi aunty having your praise and laughter about my articles is high praise indeed. I am a Texas escapee. Your dialect is music to my ears but I wouldn't attempt to write in it.
Men cannot accept directions. We are wired that way. I cannot tell you how many times I've inadvertently visited Santa at the north pole. Usually men are not that complicated. When you give instructions or talk about feelings. We are thinking something like, "Man I wish I could scratch", or "I wonder if its time to change the serpentine belt." Hence my personal standard safe reply is, I nod my head and smile. It doesn't matter if your are right, we can't process what you are saying. We don't have the capacity for more than one thought at a time. When I talk to my son I can often see the words flying out his opposite ear. Just an FYI.
FC,
youse an apple shiner par excellence.
Troll,
I think MOi has the announcement up--she be the hostess wif' the mostest this week. Ain't that fine? now--fer a change --the Troll can enter the fray.
Caroline,
see? S-I-L's can come in real handy onc't in awhile. What IS it wif boys an them GPS do-daddies?
Moi,
Oh I can see it now--SB and GPS is lost six ways from Sunday so Moi hops out and says "follow me!" runs all the way home, SB an' vehicle nosing along behind her.
Howl!
An' thanky fer the Haiku heads up.
Curmudgeon!
Well welcome to the Porch.
I had the bestest time visitin' at yore place. Did ya see I made a link fer ya at Ether Capacious? (see sidebar)
Texas huh? well, then, double welcome to a fella that can read cracker-speak wif'out a dictionary.
I hear yore advice on menfolk, an will endeavor to keep that in ind next time I take a buggy ride wif' a young sprout.
All,
when ya' gits a chance, check out Curmudgeon's hilarious blog--go to the bathroom first.
Oh no, Aunty, my ex-husband lives in Australia! We are still friends and I do love him still...in a favorite pair of old slippers kind of way. I'm only in love with the DJ! I was just thinking of various reasons why you choose to go down certain roads (or not) and I've had girlfriends that wanted to know what their ex was up to and doing the old "drive by!" haha!
Hi Auntie! I love this. After having recently been a passenger in a car on a long distance trip driven by a lady who relied totally on OnStar to get her anywhere she needed to go ... I was ready to jump out hitch-hike. I hate GPS. Plus it is difficult to see the bigger picture ... I don't want to know just hte next turn, I want to know the next hours worth of turns. Grrrrrr.
Anyway, I have a good analogy (or whatever it is) for you about time and distance. It is about the difference between the U.S. and England. In England, 100 miles is a long way. In the U.S., 100 years is a long time.
Thanks for Caleb prayers. He is doing great. Will post more soon.
On long car rides when we were young (3,000 mile kind) we would take the AAA book, calculate the amount of time it would take and then be thrilled when we beat those times. Why? Competitve nature? Wanting to get out of the car? I'm not sure. The only time I want one of them is in a rental car in a strange city when I'm drving by myself. However, the last time Mr.Boxer and I were in LA we had to turn "Her" off because she was a third wheel in a small car with plenty of "bosses."
Was just going through your blog. Dang! You look better'n sugar on grits. So does my wife by the way. Hey if you ever have time drop me a note about your stint as a comedian. People tell me I am funnier in person and I need a new career.
I swear, some folks couldn't find their way out of their driveway without GPS. We'll evolve into a bunch of lemmings if we're not careful...follow that faulty GPS right over a cliff into the sea. On the other hand, if a man will actually listen to a female voice, even if it is a GPS, maybe there is hope. Can't tell you how many times I've clammed up and smiled sweetly as we entered the party late, because he wouldn't listen to me! I wonder if I could program MY voice on a GPS-wouldn't that be a hoot!
this is too funny. i can get to work two ways. the shorter way or the longer way. the shorter way i usually go actually has more miles then the longer way which has less miles. to me the shorter way with more miles is 'shorter' because the time i spend on the road is shorter ....
i don't have a gps thingie. i rely on my faulty sense on directions and maps when i can remember to pack one.
I was looking at the wrong blog when I mentioned your stint as a comedian OOOPPS
I'm sure you look better'n sugar on grits though
There's psychological time and distance, where onerous jobs seem to take longer than they really do.
La DivaC
Heh--really happy to have that spousal clarification!
PamOKC,
oh thas' a good one--luv yore English anecdote on distance. An lemme say--eeeek! I also want the big picture, not jes' a disembodied (at the next intersection go right)voice.
Caleb is dear to mah own heart now, ya' know? Prayers abound.
Boxer-babe!
No kiddin'. Gimme a map any day over the sibilant dictator. We'uns took long --3000 mile--trips wif Pappy Cracker too! I'se a world class achiever in "I'm goin' ter Alaska wif' an aardvark."
Debora!
Well, Sugar Pie, youse heap sweeter to yore spouse than I is--mah tongue wags aplenty when we gits all turned around goin nawth when the party is to the west...heh.
Foamy,
ain't it funny? ever'body has had some experience on the matter--an so fer? The GPS ain't popular. Uncle thinks it would be more popular iffin' it wuz on the key rign an' could find yore car in the airport parking garage when ya fergit to make down that youse on level Bear, Side A, Row K (yeah, at OIA, they have animals instead of floor level)
Curmudgeon,
hee hee--I figgered somethin' were amiss. But I'll take the sugar on grits compliment.
PhosegeneKid
the Psychological angle is the key! I'se always choosin' LONGER route if it is beautiful an not interstate (less it be an emergency) Youse wise.
Hey your header said to bring my dogs. I roughed out a new story. It doesn't feel anywhere near right. It's called Barking Mad. Take a look and see what's wrong. Don't write a book just make an observation or two.
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