2.12.2011

You Must Be So Jaded

11 comments:

Aunty Belle said...

Spent yesterday in an atty office.
The foyer of hell. Truly.

Aunty Belle said...

Uhm.....sorry if any of y'all is a lawyer. But, looky, SOME body has to be a token good-guy lawyer.

Karl said...

Good Morning Aunty Belle,

I know how you feel, hope these help.


“You’re a cheat!” shouted the client to his lawyer. “You’re a scoundrel! You’ve kept me hanging for months and got rich on my case alone!”

“That’s gratitude,” said the offended lawyer. “And right after I named my new yacht after you.”

What do lawyers use for birth control?

Their personalities.

And my personal favorite: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!

Karl said...

One more:
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

Pam said...

I spent about 15 years of my life being that secretary who was ordered to change the light bulb. Ack! However, I did work for several extremely good ones (and bad ones) over the years so I have some bit of faith in the profession. As my husband describes it, they are generally a person who makes their livelihood off of someone else's misfortune (or good fortune) so it is jaded to begin with. Meanwhile, my current boss (and not an attorney), suggested to a co-worker who was considering law school that she consider getting her MBA instead because there is much of a return on investment in the marketplace -- less money for school and less time to complete the program also. And she took his advice and called to thank him when she landed a lucrative job. My opinion is .... given enough time and money, ANYONE can be a lawyer. Just because they have the degree doesn't make them good at the profession.

Boxer said...

A Drunk climbs on a bar stool in a bar and screams:

“All lawyers are sneaky thieves.”

A man stands up and says “Hey, I resent that remark.”

The drunk shouts back:

“Why, are you a lawyer?”

“No”, says the man “I’m a sneaky thief”



Sorry you spent yesterday in the foyer of hell. :-(

SophieMae said...

Well, it could've been worse... it could've been me! 8-}

'5000 dead lawyers... good start' LOL!!!

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

A doberman.

Hope today is bright and sunny where you are and brings you lots of warm, happy smiles.

Have a JESUS-filled day! ^i^

Intuitive Eggplant said...

Bwahahahaha to that clip, Aunty. Always good to be able to laugh at my day job. (No, I'm not a lawyer - I jes tend to their care and feedin' and other demands :)

moi said...

My first job out of college was working as an executive secretary for a lawyer. He later confessed he hired me for my legs, which he put to good use running me all over town picking up his tofu smoothies and his mother's dry-cleaning. Eventually, I fired him because of my brains.

fishy said...

I think the video is too uncomfortably close to reality
to be humorous.

Do you know the difference between an attorney and a shark? One is a blood sucking bottom feeder and the other one is a fish.

Milk River Madman said...

You have a rattlesnake, Osama Bin Laden and a lawyer in the room. You have a gun with two bullets.

Q: Who do you shoot?

A: The lawyer twice.

Heyoooooooooooooooh.