5.16.2010

WHEN OTIS MET ASTRID

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Wilbur Murdock stopped us t'other day up at Ace Hardwahr Store to tell us that Otis Purdy was was sittin' low in the Slough of Despond.

I tried to show some sympathy, an it warn't all a feint. Uncle shook his haid an' made that suckin' sound in his cheek that menfolk make while they try to think what words to out out in the airspace that they woan be sorry fer later. I knowed right off that Uncle woulda said somethin' off color iffin' I hadn't been standin' thar. But I wuz. So he jes' turned his head to the side like an owl an' said, "I could told Otis that men like us ain't got no bidness wif' an Astrid."







"Well, two days after knowin' her, he wuz seein' stars alright an' he wouldn'a heard nuthin' nobody wuz to say on it," Wilbur mused.

Me an Uncle got in the buggy an drove southwest toward home. We neither one said nuthin'. The sun hung low, huge and red over the horizon like a benediction. ( I stole that line from a very famous author's newest book...but I reads Flannery so I knowed that he done lifted it from her, an' I can return the favor). When an ole friend does somethin' out of character an pays a heavy price it's hard to know how to be of help, ain't it?

Otis Purdy was a gently raised cracker boy. We ran around as young'uns wif' his Dubois
cousins, an he would tag along as the mascot onc't in awhile. His daddy was maimed in a machine accident at his factory when Otis were still a sprout. After that, Ole Mr. Purdy retired to his library whar' he sat in his wheel chair an dictated story after story, though I ain't never heard that one was published. The boy would sit wif' his daddy in the afternoons after school while Ole Man Purdy drank his "tea" an' read the chile' what all he'd wrote that day. Otis' Mama ran the bidness, but his daddy wanted Otis groomed to take over soon as he could be respected by the factory folk. After college an' a stint at bidness school, Otis came home an rolled up his sleeves. But his heart warn't in it. He wanted to write stories too.

BY now his mama wuz care-worn despite the hep she had from well meanin' family an' friends. All she wanted to see Otis find a sweet girl an start a family, so she tried to shoo him off the place. This caused consternation behind the doors of their large frame house on Shady Lane. Seemed a veil fell over the place. Mr. Purdy wrote in the big window over lookin' the back lawn, Otis went to work dawn to dark-thirty, an' Mrs. Purdy went to the office after Mr. Purdy was settled fer the day. An' thas' the way they lived until Marguerite Purdy slipped out of this vale one fall mornin' as she stretched up to tie a bloom laden cane over the rose trellis. A stroke, said Doc Wallace.


After his accident, Old Man Purdy had given power of attorney to Mrs. Purdy. All those years she did what he tole her to do, but after the consternation, seems she made up her mind to do somethin' fer Otis that Mr. Purdy could not undo. She quietly sold that factory and the land under it, but leased it back for the term of 7 years after which the new owners could do as they seen fit. All the while she kept thangs runnin' wif' none the wiser. At the time of her death the lease had jes' eight more months. Marguerite din't stick the money from the sale of the factory in a her sock drawer. Her idea was to invest in the same raw materials the factory paid big dollars fer every year. After the funeral, when light was thrown on the books, both Purdy men was stunned. Marguerite split the the money down the middle: Mr. Purdy had a fat nest egg, an' Otis was free of the factory and of his daddy's purse strings.

But habits of the heart is hard to break, so Otis wuz found most afternoons wif' a Pinot Noir in hand readin' to his daddy what all he had written that mornin' in his upstairs aerie what looked east over the lake at the end of the lane. Some local ladies of a certain vintage tried to lasso Otis, now a desirable middle-aged bachelor. Otis slipped loose every time an' many a home grown lady wuz left dejected.

In November the local paper featured a book review of Otis' debut novel 'bout Cracker Florida. At the local book signin' soiree we wuz introduced to a thirty-ish female in a one shouldered purple sequined thigh skimmin' dress wif' chopsticks in her hair. She had a constellation tattooed over her exposed left shoulder an' was introduced by Otis as "Astrid, my publicist."

"Is that a real name?" Uncle whispered.

"Depends on whar' youse from," I said under mah breath.

The next month we heard from the local candy shop that Astrid was miffed that this "backwater swamp" did not even stock mango marshmallows fer her Jamaican version of s'mores. We wondered who wuz eatin' them smore's as none that I knowed had been invited to a shindig that featured mango smores. I woulda remembered that.

Starstruck Otis was off in dreamland, but ole Mr. Purdy could not be charmed by Astrid. "Son, a woman like that will make a fool out of ya twice before sundown."



Soon enough Daddy an son were barely speakin'. In February Otis got hisself a penthouse apartment up in the city. A design team wuz called in to create a star-studded decor --the foyer is tiled map of the solar system. The terrace sports a half moon shaped hot tub an huge telescope. But Astrid and Otis warn't in that penthouse perch much on account of them travelin' around promotin' Otis' opus. Until last week.

Astrid has a new assignment. He writes sci-fi westerns.

Otis is takin' it real hard. Word is, she woan even return his calls or text messages. Florrie Dubois, his cuzin, say he jes' sleeps till afternoon an sits up on that terrace the whole night long. She tole us'uns that all Otis will say is how he feels purty stoopid, an then jes' look over the rail toward the dark horizon watchin' fer fallin' stars.

The town is divided of course--some think Astrid ain't nuthin' but an opportunist who took advantage of a trustin' soul like Otis. Others, led by ole Mr. Purdy, say Otis is jes' one more middle aged fool who should known better.

He be too busy star-gazin' fer the moment, but when Otis gits around to sittin' a spell here on the Porch wif' Aunty, reckon I'll tell him how excited I'll be to read his next novel that I'se shure will feature Astrid in some guise or t'other.

20 comments:

fishy said...

Aunty,
It's like a present to wake up and find one of your stories waiting for me afore the paper gets here.

Predatory wimmin keeps a sharpish eye out for fellas like Otis. Iffen they's got money. I reckon Otis will find his way back to true North soon enough with help from the likes of you and Uncle. Day will come when Otis will unnerstand the blessing of getting aways from that Astrid.
On that day, he will be falling on his knees grateful.

Too bad the governor of South Carolina ain't figgered this out yet.

Karl said...

Good morning Aunty Belle,

"Uncle shook his haid an' made that suckin' sound in his cheek", I'm with Uncle.

Big Shamu said...

Men...what can you do with them?









No, really I want to know?

Aunty Belle said...

Fishy,

Predatory--yep! What I cain't figger out is this:

do the fellas KNOW them wimmen is predatory an jes' take the risk anyhoo? or, is that they somehow think they is gonna be the one man to change her ways?

Karl,

heh. Knowed youse pretty smart, Karl. Uncle jes' doan trust nuthin' in purple sequins.

Shamy'

Lol! C'mon...ain't ya got somethin' to say about them mango marshmallows?

Boxer said...

I have something to say about Sci-fi Westerns. Huh?

I'm with Fishy, these are the kind of posts I like to print and then read.

This made me laugh:

"Is that a real name?" Uncle whispered.

"Depends on whar' youse from," I said under mah breath.

Floridacracker said...

Shooting stars like Astrid do add some sparkle to the journey though.


"Depends on whar' youse from ..."

heeheehheehhee, now THAT is funny.

Thanks for this little gem.

Big Shamu said...

Mango Marshmallows are just a city-fied way of describing Circus Peanuts.

..................... said...

well, this astrid certainly ain't no astrid lindgren ..

otis needs to find him a ruth maude or a mary pearl or a lou ann ..

Anonymous said...

real names:

hannah kate
martha sue
bonnie jean
lou ellen
mary frances
barbara nell
patty gail
anna paige
mary beth
betty jane
ellie grace
emmy lou
abby faye
betsy ruth
bobbie jo
kitty claire
rosie dale
sally mae
jessie lynn
shelby june
sophie marie
terri lee
olivia blair
georgia rae
susie gail
nickie jaye
peggy joan
michele lynn
mary alice
connie sue
donna carol
margaret louise
isabella virginia



if she is named for plants or jewels, her grandmother overruled her mother:

fern
ruby
violet
opal
lily
pearl
pansy
ivy
olive
daisy
beryl


her great-grandmother's will required it:

mattie
fannie
ida
ina
ora
winnie
sadie
hilda
bulah
bernice
gertrude
maud
lulabelle
jewel
bertie
irma
ernestine


her mother had pretensions:

paris
tiffany
phredrica
legend
destiny
horizon
azure
harmony

moi said...

I actually love the name Astrid. When it's attached to an actual Swedish girl who actually lives IN Sweden. Otherwise, it rings like nothing less than an affectation.

As for middle aged men who have no sense about women, can't help there. It seems to be a bizarre form of madness that I personally hope only to ever have to view from afar.

That being said, Aunty, I think YOU need to put these stories down into a book. That would make for some mighty fine reading and, I'm sure, quite the book launch soiree.

Boxer said...

bwahahahaah to Shamy's Circus Peanuts comment.

Aunty Belle said...

Boxer-Babe

heh...what? ya think we's the only planet wif' cowboys an' Indians? or that aliens din't see somethin' here they took home fer adaptation on Zenon?

FC

hmmm...sparkle, huh? Glad ya had a laugh.

Shamy

Circus peanuts???

..............said

heh! Yep, he needs Martha Jane. ( in reverse, Astrid needs a ..what?)


Anon,

ah, hilarious. Uncle say ya should note the followin':

Yankee gal names:


amber
edith
karla
elsa
marsha
tina
darla
stella (Yo! Stella!)
lola
eileen
andrea
sybil
mabel (off the table, that quarter is for beer. All mabels have fathers that look like Odd Job)
demi
magda
greta
myra
gina
lois
gretchen
wanda


Moi, Cherie,

I concede the Swedish connection, absolutely. As fer star-struck middle-agers, I always threatened to flip out afore Uncle could, jes' to keep him too busy to git star struck, too busy unstrucking Aunty. heh.

as fer scribblin' the stories--aw, thas' kind of ya'...Promise me yore Czar to keep mah own dash thingys in check an' mebbe I'll waltz the idea around.

Boxer Babe,

let's git Shamu to make circus peanuts the star ingredient fer Dim Sum Sundays.

Buzz Kill said...

Interesting story Aunty. I think men are always looking for ways to feel and stay younger. Astrid probably fit the bill for Otis. I hope it didn't cost him too much.

"so Otis wuz found most afternoons wif' a Pinot Noir in hand"

I don't know, Otis an Pinot Noir don't seem to go together. But that's just me.

moi said...

ROLFL at Aunty getting struck before Uncle. Oh, I do understand, I do :o)

Czar wields his red pen happily for any and all writers; so you just say the word.

Pam said...

Absolute treat of a story. I like the name Astrid also. Always have. It was the name of the girlfriend of Stu Sutcliffe, the original Beatles member who stayed in Germany with his girlfriend (Astrid) and later died of an aneuryism (or however you spell it). So being the student of The Beatles that I am, yes, gotta love the name. And this story. And I'm of the opinion that everyone deserves a little fling with someone out of their league once in their life -- but they also deserve the consequences said fling might bring ???? heh.

Pam said...

P.S. Okie girl names:

Reba (McEntire)
Carrie (Underwood)
Kristen (Chenoweth)
Kym
Pam
Donna
LaDonna
Eldonna
Bobbie
Guyene
Frankie Lou
(anything) Jo
(anything) Sue
(anything) Ann
(anything) Lynn
(anything) Kay

Anonymous said...

Beware the "y" girls"

Bitsy
Bunny
Muffy
Cammy
Cissy
Daffy
Dolly
Weezy
Maizy
Minxy
Hatty
Letty
Nipsy
Pussy
Ripsy
Sissy
Tinky
Tiffany
Taffy
Welly

chickory said...

V and i have a friend who used to be a big shot in the record bindness, was even the VP of a big rap outfit here in the atl. well we just saw a story about him hitting on hard times and being on FOOD STAMPS. V and i were floored considering the big life this fella once swaggered about in. anyhoo - little chippy wife flew the coop. NO! really? grrrrherhahahahaha

mah deddy yousta say when poverty walks in the door, love flies out the window...or in this case a scifi writer with greener grass.

beware tattooed people.

chickory said...

youre way behind the times on southern names aunty

they are

ashley
emma
ella
taylor
tyler
emily
hannah
madison
abby
raleigh
annabelle


theres only one name for yankee wimmen

"slag"

grrrrrrhahahahaha


and LOL shamy. WHO easts circus peanuts? now we know.

LaDivaCucina said...

The lessons here are: "Don't fall for your publicist" and avoid at all costs women named "Astrid."

I like your stories, Aunty, they take me to place I know nothing about but enjoy going to.