Al Squirrlepone

I'se mad as a hello an' somebody needs to hear it.

WE's had near bout eve'r type pf bird feeder known on earth. But this man is the bane of all backyard bird lovers!

He an' his band of rodent thugs figgerd out how to rob this Aviary Trust Company!

Now it is War--utter, all out take no prisoners WAR!

Hang eve'r last one of them thangs! Squirrel perloo for the world--feed the hungry!!


Big Shamu said...

.22 or shotgun?

Doom said...

If you live in enough of a city that the delicacies of your neighbors and the senses of your local police force (not to mention the sensibilities of your local PETA, which in some places is a real threat) preclude any real noise, might I suggest: http://www.gamousa.com/product.aspx?productID=259

Far be it from me to suggest 'bending the law', mind you. No, no, I suggest outright breaking it. The big plus, you can keep what you kill in a more literal sense. And they go good with, or without, veg and other etables.

Unless, of course, this is a battle of minds. In which case, prepare to be humbled, and fascinated. Do film your losses. I miss Bugs Bunny (the real cartoons), Elmer Fudd, and company.

Aunty Belle said...




oooh oooh oooh!! I knows what Uncle is gonna git fer a surprise present this weekend...heh!

SophieMae said...

While you're plotting the most efficient way to dispatch the tree-rats, put them to work. Here's how it's done. 8-]

K9 said...

grrherhahahaha to doom. aunty squirrels need seed too. dont be a speciesist!

foam said...

i can lend you my dog. she loves chasing squirrels.

Reverend X said...

Hi ya Aunty,

How have ya been? Well, besides your rodent raider issues. I hope all is well.


Aunty Belle said...

howling hilarious!! YA did git me to smile.

Dawgie Pup,

OF COURSE I'se a specieist! You is too--ain't seein' no tears fer all them ticks an' fleas youse scratchin' through eve'r day. Heh


send yore pup on over! I ain't gonna feed it her so she will be fiercely hungry--hehehehe.


That avatar be's a scream! The real you, finally. I always knowed ya had a sweet, sexy side.
Does I see from yore comment to K9 that youse still throwin' punches wif' Uriel out thar' in cyberspace? AN' whar's ole Hellpig???

A ole' lady like me misses tossin' a bone an' an watchin' the mastiffs go at it---howwwwl!

Gnomeself Be True said...

Keep those dang birds off the squirrel feeder and you won't have any more problems.

Floridacracker said...

One summer after the tree rats had destroyed all my crops, I set up a water barrel with some peanuts dangling across the top on a squirrelly tightrope.

20 squirrels later I determined they are not really very good swimmers.

Boxer said...

I'm sorry Aunty, you know what side I'm on here.


moi said...

Aunty, where's your dawg? Or is it one of those squirrel lovin' canines?

fishy said...

Love your portrait of Al!

Sorry Aunty, I don't have any good suggestions bout those pesky squirrels at the feeders. Looks like you have a fine Oak tree that should be providing plenty of food for those squirrels without them raiding the bird feeders.

Pam said...

The birds creep me out as well. Flying dinosaur looking things. Except for a few of the pretty ones. But a squiddle at least looks like you can reason with him, not a cold eyed birdie. I didn't realize I was having an anti-birdie phase until this post.

Reverend X said...


I wish I was still trading fire with Uriel. He was a phenomenal and quick witted adversary. He brought out the best in me... my 'A' Game, if you will. I have always said that a person can be judged by the quality and ability of their enemies. Progress-Growth-Advancement absolutely require external belligerence. lol.

As for Hellpig... Do you ever watch "Deadliest Catch"? Not sure if he is on the show, but that is what Hell Pig does for a living. If he hasn't been sucked down into Davey Jones' Locker by now, then I am sure he is still doing the Hell Pig thing... Working Harder, Making More $ and Fearing/Hating the rest of the World more than any one else ever has. If his life was a TV character, he'd be on WWE with his shirt saying, "Hellpig- Go Big or Go Home!!"

Thanx for the Hospitality, "Para Bellum"