Ain't got much to say so y'all gits a leaf out of mah calendar.I'se havin' lunch wif' a new friend--it's bidness, but more than bidness. I think wimmen folk may have a harder time bein' "just bidness" wif' other wimmen. We doan have to agree on everythang---I'll even overlook a fuuuuchia jacket. (uh, mebbe not. Urpin' up enchaladas ain't so good fer bidness.)
I can be be "just bidness" wif menfolk, but a woman I doan like much? Tough to do bidness wif' that.
Anyhoo, we's goin' to a Mexican Restaurant the t'other lady chose--she said it ain't like the Mexican food ya think of when ya hear "Mexican"..restaurant is about two weeks ole now. I seen a listin' on Urban Spoon (?!?) that had very little info but the under contruction web page makes it look interestin' --not "Tex -Mex" but "sophisticated urban Mexican"
I'll let y'all know.
Aunty's Poll Question for Men:
Would ya oppose yore wife ( if ya have one) goin' to a "war zone" as part of work, but goin' is not even a remote requirement--more of an opportunity? Would the danger and yore own anxiety outweigh any potential opportunity? Would her goin' arouse yore worst ire?
Answers fer Men:
1. I'd present mah best argument fer not takin' such a stooopid risk fer no reason, then let her
make her choice. If she chooses to go,I call up Q to send wif' her.
2.It's her life an' she can do her thang (cause I shure as heck plan to MAH thang wif'out her
interference)
3. Tie her down until she remembers mah callin' the shots is all the gunfire she needs.
4. GO fer it! Iffin' she gits herself kilt, I can git Jessica Rabbit to take her place.
5. Other( explain)
Aunty's Poll for Wimmen:
If ya had an opportunity to follow work to a "War zone" but it was not at all a requirement for work, an' yore husband was (heatedly) opposed to yore goin' to a danger spot, how would ya' proceed? What would ya do?
Answers fer Wimmen:
1. Git a yaller lamborghini like ya' seen at the grocery parking lot an' skip the dreariness of
warzones.
2. Assure spouse that a platoon of Marines will git ya home safely an' ya' will leave plenty of
venison chili in the freezer.
3. patiently explain that all these years ya's been such a prim an' predictable model, that
wouldn't it sorta race his motor to see ya take a corner on two wheels?
4. Dahlink, arrange a surprise whaling expedition in Alaska fer him...jes' be sure ya git home a
day or two afore he does.
5. Other (explain)
Jes' a hypothetical poll question.
35 comments:
I would not oppose her because I would not let her stop me if the situation was reversed.
She's an experienced public health nurse supervisor so I send her off to hurricane disasters whenever she is called. She's also your first line of defense after a biowarfare attack.
The meek may inherit the Earth, but they usually don't contribute much in the meantime.
I've made some good friends with women who were customers/vendors, but overall, I find men easier to work with... things stay less personal and that makes it easier if things ever get tough. It's hard to be firm with a woman in business if they spent the entire last lunch meeting "sharing" about their problems with children/husband/boyfriend/etc.
As for your poll..... I wouldn't proceed. Or, I think it wouldn't be an issue. My husband and I are very different in some ways, but fundamentally we share similar beliefs..... and I wouldn't want to go anywhere that he wouldn't want to go either. Does that make sense? I may think this over and be back with more later.
Looking forward to hearing about lunch.
My answer: 3.
Plus, it would put my knot tying skills back in order, I hope. If I have a wife I will have children, and no, she can't skip that. Besides, who would I have to argue with? Nope, hog tied, she would probably be giving me a piece of her mind. She would get over it in a couples of years, I am just sure. Thankfully, I am patient.
If it became vital for someone to do something, that would be my task.
In my humble opinion it depends the relationship. Generally I feel that both partners have to agree. If they can't agree then it's probably best that the status quo remains. However I would hope there would be a serious consideration of compromise in which all life decisions are made. It's one thing to say to a mother or father with a underage child to avoid overly dangerous entanglements, it's another when the kids are all grown and flown the nest. The arguement "I just don't want you to go..." is not a particularily persuasive one. Besides there's the Homecoming (talk about spousal arousal).
Lamborghini? Yellow? Really?
Good luck on the Mexican Restaurant choice. It could be really good or....well....you know.
Urban Mexican?
New food and restaurant might help to keep things more on food and business and not slip into the personal mode.
I believe NO civilian who is not certified for fitness, both mental and physical, or without weapons and combat training, should travel to or within a war zone because that un-fitness or lack of training adds risks to those called upon to protect the civilian.
is this a hypothetical question?
Good Lord. I'm still back there with the fuschia jacket :o).
I'm okay now.
So, to the poll:
Well, my first instinct is to answer #1 'cause life's too short for War Zoning it and I have nothing to prove but sure would like to drive that Lamborghini really REALLY fast. But, WERE it interesting enough that I'd go? #2: Assure spouse that a platoon of Marines will git ya home safely an' ya' will leave plenty of venison chili in the freezer.
So, Aunty, you buying flack jackets by any chance here?
I keep trying to get my wife to fly to a war zone buy she's not buying it.
I would oppose such a thing and let her know the consequences. She'd then do it anyway. Depending on the stress it put our family through, we would likely not be there when she came back.
I was not married when I was in the service because I did not think I wanted to put a family through my absence or waiting while I was in harm's way. I would not tolerate that from a spouse.
Uh...lunch was not great. Good atmosphere, but urban mex means the fajita is served on an upscale sizzler plate and the flower on the table is a dwarf sunflower.
No expresso. Got that? NO EXPRESSO?? An' this is a Mexican place? Right-O. Woan be back.
But bidness was good. An no fuschia attire.
On all y'all poll answers--heh. Doan seem to be much consensus yet.
Reckon it was a loaded poll. I'se mightily conflicted on this (hypothetical) poll.
I'se studying yore comments an' will be back directly. Y'all makes very good good points.
Hummmm. Auntie, I have to say 'other.' My husband has been in the military and I think he would mostly oppose me going over seas because of how few women are there. Not that he doesn't trust me, but he wouldn't trust thousands of other men who've been away from their women for so long.
Closest to answer three (3). Also, I can't see a single place in the World today where such a thing really would be an "opportunity" where the potential long-term benefit even came close to balancing the near-term risk.
Mam, what about that clan you always speak of? Is a war zone trip worth worrying all those people?
what are you saying?!!?? did you get a gig in a war zone? i already know that uncle will hate it. but i bet you go. hypothetically speaking, that is.
im sorry thats just a bit too left field of a poll aunty. you got a cool gig. are you going to tell us what it is???
urban mexican btw, is when they cook a tortilla on a hot sidewalk. jus sayin
Hmmm. War zone. Might depend on the war. Plus the USO folks do it all the time with minor celebrities, so there must be some safety to it. If the war zone was in say, Bermuda and you are overseeing some terrorists taking a dip in the ocean, I'm all for going!
Meanwhile, urban Mexican .... hmm, probably like our Abuelo's ... a little more upscale than our usual texmex places. Makes me hungry.
The question is: Whatsoyo beef with this other woman?
In my case, the Mrs. is a chicken and would never consider a job in a war zone. Hell, she just turned down an offer in Michigan. My answer to your poll is #1 - it's her life and her choice. And I agree with Troll, I can't see anyone making her a leagal offer for several million to do anything in Iraq or Afghanistan.
can a fella answer the poll from the lady list?
# 4. Just go on and bribe him.
Huffin' an' puffin'--- BUSY day.
Will git back directly, meanwhile UNcle thinks Doom, Gnome an' Troll an' KYWTHY's hubby is of superior intelligence, an' Boxer is "a good lady", Shamy is "emotionally intelligent" an' Moi is a "savvy woman" an Fishy is "dead damn right." Uncle thinks FC is braver than Uncle who admits that iffin' he played wif snakes mre like FC then he (Uncle) might be braver.
Uncle ain't seen Buzz's comment, or PAMOKC's or Anon's.
As fer Foamy an' K9, all I got to say is, heh. HEH HEH HEH.
Which is to say, yep, I have an option/ invitation to a gig in a "war zone" but not the hottest war zone, but one whar' Marines is still busy.
But in no way is the assignment required or expected. I jes' wanna go. I wanna write this stuff up. But Uncle didn't think the Daniel Perle story had a happy endin' so he is unpersuaded that there is any significant reason to go. EOS --in his view.
Gotta git to a thang I'se s'pose to go to--BBL
Oh--an' NEW POST on Back Porch.
Isn't every day a risk? How many people die in automobile accidents everyday? That faux Mexican restaurant could have served some bad beans. A tick or mosquito bite could lead to the hospital. Where there is no risk there is also very little reward. I think you should go. I would hope Uncle understand opportunities like this don't come around very often. Have you asked Uncle to not do something only because you didn't want him to?
Oh, Aunty, this sounds exciting! Go! And we'll make sure Uncle gets fed :o).
Aunty Belle,
Now you've made me want to go and meet your "uncle" .... again. Funny new post is up at the Pond.
Aha! The truth comes out and it validates my reason for voting #3.
I suggest you and Uncle read Laurie Dhue's account of being assigned as a "war correpsondent" as a "career and resume boost".
I think it would depend on how long you would be gone from Uncle? A week? Two? He could still be eating out of the freezer. Anything longer? I'd be worried. :-)
Exciting news, Aunty. Whatever you decide, congrats.
Shamy,
I think youse exactly right so I said as much to Uncle an' he said,
"Yeah, thas' true. But iffin' yore toes turn up from a tick bite, thas' befittin' fer a Cracker Lassy, an I'll be real sorry an' will miss ya, Belle.
But iffin' some muslim psycho tortures ya' in a manic rage and whacks off yore haid as a political statement, it ain't befittin for no woman, no time, no whar'...an' me an' others will have nightmares forevermore. What about Granny? How she gonna live through such a thang as that? AN' I'll always know it was cause I din't do mah job."
Moi,
I KNOW!! Now I got mahself in a hail of a pickle. I wanna go SO BAD!! But, has ya read Gnomeself's comment? Thas' precisely Uncle's viewpoint. When I said we's at a tense impasse --that I could pout fer years over this, he said poutin' is done by wimmen wif heaids still on shoulders an' thas' OK by him. Mah only hope now is to convince U that I will be utterly safe. Yeah, an' when I make mah best case fer utter safety, he say, "Belle, honey, I been meanin' to tell ya that down at the Pork Rind plant, we finally found us a pig that can fly!"
\
Fishy,
Heh. Doan let Uncle's praise go to yer haid. He can turn on ya iffin' ya git on his wrong side.
Troll-man,
Uncle says he will play poker wif' ya' anytime. Youse an honset fella.
I ain't thought of Laurie Dhue in awhile--what DID happen to her?
Well, I gotta tell ya, Aunty ain't in Laurie Dhue category AT ALL--now y'all, I should hasten to say mah work ain't of such public note. I'se one of them drones jes' burrowin' away at odd news to which I wish't the world would give more attention. This gig would be unlikely to catapult mah scribbles to national attention--unless of course I *was* immersed in a "situation".
This be's Uncle's point--the gig doan advance nuthin' (not even much $$) nuthin' but mah desire to see thangs wif mah own eyes and write with a heading that reads, "War Zone, September 11, 2009". The ONLY way it can advance Aunty's credits is if trouble happens up close and personal. Otherwise, it is jes' an experience I wanna have, an--Uncle says, that experience comes at too high a price maybe.
Le sigh.
Boxer Babe,
oh see? What a mess I'se made of this whole thang. I guess I need to SHUT UP now. I ain't through tryin' to persuade Uncle on this....but I ain't goanna go iffin' he cain't git on board wif the idea.
Not 'cause I lack spunk enough to do it--to buck Uncle on this...it's jes' that I cain't talk mah conscience into it. It would seem too much like puttin' a cool experience over marital harmony.
Grrrrr!! Arrrggghhh!! Whine, pout...an' dang it! Thar' ain't even gonna be a yaller Lamborghini as a consolation prize. Drat. I shure ain't played mah cards very well.
Ok, now I will SHUT UP>
I see. So it's the method of one's death as opposed to the actual death itself? Menfolk make me laugh.
All experience is risk, nothing is guaranteed, and the only way not to get hurt by anything is to never get born in the first place. Every experience, regardless of how benign-seeming, has the potential to change us and perhaps even jeopardize in some way the relationship we have with our spouses and other loved ones. But if we love someone, we have to allow them to self actualize, despite our fear and our needs.
This doesn't sound like some pie in the sky, bubble headed thing you want to do here. And you're not running out on a passel of children who are your first obligation. Rather, it sounds like you have been presented with an opportunity in keeping with your vocational, intellectual, and emotional interests. In which case, I'd dig out some Louboutins, a flirty apron, a bottle of bourbon, and get back to work on Uncle.
Moi for President!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aha, again! So I was right about it not being a huge career boost too! I rock!
Laurie Dhue probably faced no more danger of WAR Death than her two male counterparts. One of whom was a Marine Fighter Pilot prior to FoxNews. The other being a 300 pound weight-lifter.
What she did face, and the others did not was muslib street scum OUTSIDE the "war zone" spitting on her, urinating on her, calling her a whore etc...
And muslib officaldom refusing to be interviewed by an inherently inferior female. And muslib "security guards" rifling through her suitcase and making rude remarks about her underwear and such.
Since all cultures are equal, it must have been merely a coincidence that none of that happened to the 300 pound male weight-lifter, right?
I'm sure Uncle would be as concerned about a Son or a Brother being hit by enemy fire IN the War Zone. But, since he knows the score, he wouldn't be concerned about them being harassed and humiliated and PERHAPS physically attacked by non-combatants OUTSIDE the war-zone.
He does have to consider that possibility with YOU!
Being urinated on, isn't death. But it's not a lot of fun either.
P.S.
In case it wasn't clear, the urine sprayer and the underwear-loving security guard incidents happened in Jordan our "ally" where there was no "war". And the official who refused to talk to her was in Kuwait, again an "ally" and far from the actual combat.
oh, I get it now and I feel for both you and Uncle. If Mr. Boxer wanted to go, given the same outline you're presented, I'm not sure how I would feel. Does that make me selfish? If I truly love him, wouldn't making his dream trip a reality, be the ultimate demonstration of my love? How would I live with myself knowing I denied him something that was so important? What is a union if we're not TRULY thinking of the other person, instead of ouself?
Ultimately, I would have to let him go, because to keep him prisoner to my fear is not who I want to be.
xoxo.
LOL - Pouting done by women with their heads still on their shoulders!!!! He has a point!
Troll-Man
youse right--the gig is unlikely to
be a huge boost to mah work in the sense of makin' mah work better known. In the circle whar' mah work is already known it will be an enormous plus. It's more likely to give ME a boost by knowin' more about the way thangs is over thar'.
Boxer-babe.
sigh--thas' it, 'xactly. But Uncle doan see it as preventing me from nuthin' of import other than my curiosity, he be more of preservin' me from somethin' horrific that could happen to me fer no good reason.
But the fear factor is the two edged sword. Should I be held captive to his fear? (he thinks:YEAH! thas' better than captive to an ideology never known fer respectin' wimmen-folk)
The other edge is, how could I put folks I love (includin' two elderly parents)through the fear and worry that could be nearly unbearable fer'em? An fer what of akshul value?
I'se gettin' more info...an' a Marine fella is supposed to give Uncle a call to describe the set-up.
Pamokoc!
Sugar, ya cain't imagine how hard it is to argue wif' a man whose mind works like that!
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