2.05.2009

BIG Pork: Sign of the Times





Mr. Larry Earley lives jes' 30 miles north of Orlando, in thrivin' metropolis of Okahumpka (Yeah, the pit stop on the Florida turnpike 'bout mid-state.) Larry got hisself 20 acres an' keeps a a few cows and horses, but it's jes' mainly pasture with a bit o'woods on t'other side o' his fence.

His neighbor rancher done mentioned some trouble --for several years some wild hogs go to tearin' through the cattle feeders.

Heh.


At the first of 2009 Larry seen what he thought to be a cow over near his pond... went to check iffin' it were stuck in the mud.

But mercy!! When he got up on the thang he seen it were a a hog. That ton o' pork heaved to an' charged at him.

Larry, bein' a regular sorta fella, whipped out his handgun and when Hogzilla came at him again, he done shot it twice't an' kilt it daid.

Now y'all, regular hawgs that runs wild here in
Florida tips in at 100-400 pounds.

Reckon this mammoth had been feasting on free vittles o'grain for years so it growed an' growed...an' growed.

When
Larry got that load o' pork over to processor it weighed 1100 pounds!

Since the porker was grain fed it doan have no wild flavor (too bad!) so what ya gonna do wif' all that ham? Mr. E done been a square fella--
fed local fireman and provided the homeless shelter in downtown Orlando with meals.

Now THAT is Pork we can all be happy about.




15 comments:

fishy said...

The Earley gun gets the pork!

TROLL said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TROLL said...

Here's what Snopes has to say:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/bighog.asp

Aunty Belle said...
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Aunty Belle said...

Aw Troll, c'mom... I'se engagin' in
a wee bit of BIG PORK Spoof as commentary on the political climate, Sugar. So I give it a 2009 date...

But, folks, as the snopes thang says --it is true, jes' in 2004--and the processor estimated the weight at 1100-1200 pounds,

BUT mah point is BIG PORK IN AMERICAN POLITICS

TROLL said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhh. I get it now. Anyway, I was just funning. I like these kind of stories.

Gnomeself Be True said...

If he's going to take on Washington pork...he's going to need a bigger gun.

foam said...

and just imagine all the digested matter it leaves behind ..
that sure is a load of ....

Romany Angel said...

That's one heck of a porker there Aunty.

There was a story on the news last night that pork is the new fish for weight loss. Apparently we have all been wrongly assuming it was bad for us fat wise. I wish I'd stopped to listen to the whole story now.

K9 said...

man o man. at chickory i see where hogs have been -they found the truffles. or is it tree fungus?

moi said...

Good one, Aunty! The only way to deal with this mess today is with humor and satire. Otherwise . . . well, let's just say I wouldn't be sad to hear if a passel of wild hogs suddenly decided to charge Congress.

Boxer said...

here piggy, piggy.

Anonymous said...

oh I get it now. That hog was "feasting on free vittles" that's how it got so big. Washington dishing out freebies makes government grow?

pamokc said...

Is this the hawg that Troll was after last weekend? That's some bacon breakfast!

The Phosgene Kid said...

Almost as much pork as in "Spendulus," the new stimulus bill. When's the pig roast? I am in!!!