What's in Aunty's Mattress?

"I doan unnerstan half of what youse sayin' on that blog of yours, Belle. I jes' got so muddled over it all that I came by heah hopin' ya'd explain it to me. But first I looked in at the bank. I seen Pete Jenson who said he heered that Uncle was layin' off folks the PorkRind plant. Is that right, Belle?

Ned Wilson is fine fella what always has somethin' cheery to say about other folks. An' he is quick to do ya a favor too. It's hard to get him down, so his long face was doubly worrisome.

"How was thangs at the bank," I as't him.

"Same as at the market--lot'sa folks bein all smiley faced, pretendin' they ain't worriet when they's all worriet sick," Ned sighed an' reached down to scratch Shadow's head.

I jes' nodded.

"Tillie sent me over to the bank on account of it bein announced as a failin' insitution. So she wanted me to jes' get the money an' let us keep it in the mattress. Sounds funny doan it? Like the cartoons."

"Naw, it ain't funny," I said. "Real folks will git hurt real bad. Like the ones Uncle might have to let go--But we's gettin ready to be taxed to death. Iffin' the wrong fella ends up in the White House, you'll see unemployment go up like it did in France a few years ago."

"I ain't worriet about France. Why ya mention the French?" Ned as't.

"Cause they had the idea to tax bidness more and force employers to pay unemployment on workers fer a year--if ya could fire them. So, all that meant is that bidness's quit hirin' anybody. Unempoyment went up over 16 %. "

Ned looked perplexed. He said, "Well, now, that right thar's why so many is thinkin' of votin' fer man who will help the workers of this country. Seems like workers is entitled to job security."

"Sure they is" I nodded, "in that perfect world that none of us ever seen. But who is gonna give it to them?"

"The employer, " answered Ned.

"Reckon he would iffin' he could" I nodded back, "but he cain't, Ned, since the employer ain't got no sales security. What is the employer supposed to do if they ain't no sales? It costs money to hire and train, to run the equipment, to pay wages and unemployment and insurance and retirement to employees. That money comes from sales of goods and services. No sales, no money. Add new taxes on top of all that and youse gonna see lots more lay-offs. "

Ned exhaled an' I seen he was clearly discomforted. "Why ain't they no sales?"

I smiled. "Now Ned, iffin' times is tough, what does ya spend yore money on? What does ya think ya' can do wif'out so as to save a penny? Pork Rinds ain't a necessity in nobody's book. Nor
I-Pods." He works at a simulation outfit what makes games.

Ned was silent as a cat. Shadow jes' lay at his feet on the sunny patch in the grass.

I continued, "Ya know, ever' day folks git up an go to work. They either go to work fer somebody else, or they go to work for theyselves. When a body builds up a bidness, they offer work to others. If the tax-man leaves him be, thar's money fer him to hire more folks and expand, or to spend that money on better equipment or worker trainin'. If lots of bidnesses hires lots of folks then unemployment stays down and people doan need to gubmint handout."

Ned stared off toward the treeline. "Belle, taxes make thangs fair fer all. It is right that the rich pay their fair share."

"Ned, " I croaked, "Think what youse sayin.' Why does ya go to work ever'day?"

"Fer the money."

I nodded, "Right. So how'd you like it if ya arrived one day an' the boss said,

'Ned, today youse doin' Zeke's work, but he is gonna be paid fer it.'

An when ya protest the boss says,

'Well now, Ned, youse bigger and can work enough fer two men, an Zeke's here needs the money but he cain't do more'n a few hours of work on account of his puny constitution. It's fair that you share more of yore brawn wif' those who is scrawny.'

Reckon how long it be, Ned, afore youse findin' excuses to work less since youse workin fer two but paid fer one? Thas' what happens if ya overtax the man whose bidness made a place for others to work. They stop workin' and inventin' and innovatin' and takin' risks openin' a bidness and takin' on all the obligations of bein' a bidness owner."

Ned Wilson shook his head. "Youse tryin'to trick me wif' all this talk. Fair is fair, thas
what I know. At least they have a bidness! "

"Well thas' true, Ned" I replied, "But iffin' youse admirin' that, why'nt you build yore own bidness?"

"Belle, how would I do that? Doan'cha unnerstan' that would take ever' dime I had to make my own bidness? I'd have to borry money too. What if it, uh, well, what if...I mean, it might not pay." He shook his head, "Nope. That'd be too risky. Couldn't put mah head on the pillow fer worryin' over the money I might lose."

We sat watchin' the sun go down over the trees. The tree frogs began their chorus. After a spell he shuffled his feet and I knowed he was preparin' to go on home to Tillie. With money fer the mattress.

"Well," he sighed,"Tell Uncle Aloysius I'se real sorry to miss him. Whar is he this close to supper time?"

I smiled that youse-gonna-be-sorry-ya-asked smile, "Oh, he' still at the plant tryin' ter make sure that ever' dime he ever could scrape together and risk so he could build that Pork Rind plant whar' dozens of folks work, and git paid vaction and health care and pensions and free skill trainin'...tryin' to see that it doan go all down the drain. Reckon ya' got the better part of the deal, Ned, not ownin' a bidness and havin' to worry about all that."

The moon was hangin' low when Uncle came home. We had a late supper and went early to bed. I laid awake long after Uncle turned out the light.

"Curly locks, curly locks, wilt thou be mine?
Thy shalt not sweep floors nor yet feed swine.
But sit on a cushion and sew a fine seam,
an' feast on strawberries, sugar and cream!"

And feast upon strawberries, sugar and cream
From a service of silver, with jewels agleam,
At thy feet will I bide, at thy beck will I rise,
And twinkle my soul in the night of thy eyes!

When Uncle was a boy-man he had to put hisself through school. When he marriet up wif me, a chile of a girl, mah daddy said "She's yores now, son. You figger out how to pay fer her school too." And he did.

I shifted to look out on the moon, high now over the trees. Beneath me a small lump caused a twinge,and I smiled to myself in the dark. After Ned ambled down the walk I went right upstairs and slipped a dried black-eyed pea under my side of the mattress pad. It ain't wise to git too comfortable wif the status quo. A little discomfort reminds me of the larger comfort of havin' a bed in a still somewhat free country.


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h said...

Funny thing is that almost of all the "Ned Wilsons" I know DO GET IT. And reject leftist tripe.

sparringK9 said...

excellent! excellent!

reminds me of a joke. little girl of liberal parents says to mr businessman she wants to feed and house the homeless. and that something should be done. her parents beam.

mr businessman says "i tell ya what. come over to my house, and you can weed my garden, rake and clean out my garage. then i will give you fifty dollars, and you can give it to a homeless man. sound good?"

little girl thinks for a minute. then says "why not have the homeless man weed, rake and clean and you give him the fifty?"

businessman says "welcome to conservatism"

Aunty Belle said...

Hey Fishy,
glad youse amused. It is.

Troll -Man! Yep, lots a Ned's is immune to the class warfare pitch. But some--about 52 % whose votin' fer Nobama--is so blinded by a false idea of "fairness" that they would rather be poorer than they is today iffin' they could jes git a they employers taxed into oblivion.

Hey Pup,
Ya fixed the link an I'se done mah thing on the Orphan work thang, and I snickered at yore little joke.

Gnomeself Be True said...

We're a sick people at this point Belle. I just don't think they get the basics of life anymore.
Old values are dying off, being replaced by entitlements. It's been going downhill for generations now, and the hill is getting steeper.
God help my kids.

moi said...

Nicely done. None of this is difficult to understand – it's all rather simple, in fact. But it takes EFFORT to embody these beliefs and live your life in accordance with them.

I can't tell you how many times I explain to friends, using just this very kind of example, the difference between liberal and conservative beliefs. Friends nod yes, yes, I get it, I get it. And then the next thing out of their mouths is something along the lines of "But don't you think the government should . . . " Le sigh.

Meems said...

Taxed to death is the understatement, Aunty. Great analogy of the workers having to work for the other guy because he's bigger and stronger... I'm going to use that one.

I keep hoping the Neds of America will get tired of government help and realize life is meant to be better than what they've settled for... OR that the Neds of this world will see the light of BHO's fake-plan-to-save-the-world...

a girl's gotta do something to keep smiling.

We've got a few more days to pray!

Anonymous said...

What do you think should happen to the poor or the weak if taxes drop too low? That is what you never address.

Jenny said...

tell us another story Aunty!

h said...

52% huh? I was thinking of Ned as Southern and Christian. I guess if you add up ALL the Neds, you're right, it is 52% or higher. Sad.

To me, what most Ned's lack is a future-focus. About 75% of Neds didn't pay ANY income tax this year. They like the fact that Obama's gonna cut them a check. And REALLY like the fact that he's calling it a "Tax-Cut" instead of welfare.

But they're not looking much beyond that.

Aunty Belle said...

I hear ya--I is worriet too fer all the clan babies. But doan despair. Out of great crisis comes brave and courageous folks.

uh-huh, thas' the real horror--folks is weak. Ya knows how Aunty is. That Spengle ppeice on the BACK Porch is right. When nations doan care about the next generation enough to even HAVE the next generation, they become self-absorbed and it devolves into only "What's in it fer me"?

Thas'a dangerous mentality. Weak, narcissistic.


Welcome to the Front Porch--wow, ever'body YA GOTTA GO SEE MEEMS' blog--so so purty!

Yes, I reckon youse right, the Neds is needin' a wake up about bein' personally responsible.

Aunty sees yore meanin'. It might sound as if we is heartless when we recommend more self -reliance. But folks in the self-reliance camp is usually the FIRST to offer help to those in need.

Here's mah orientation--I'se a communitarian. I'se a State's Rights sort of citizen. I believe in somethin'called "subsidiarity." Thas' a big word that means, roughly, "solve the problem at the lowest possible level" and that level is local. LOCAL. So iffin' some folks is sick, let their family and neighbors help out. Iffin' more help is needed, involve the church or local area civil associations. Doan make no national policy to cove what locals and neighbors oughta be pleased to do fer each other.

Anon Boxer-Babe!

Why, I think I will, soon.


yep Sweet Thang, most Neds lacks exactly that, a future focus. I refer ya'll all back to that Spengler post on the BACK porch--a few posts back--read what he says about this generation and the future.

Folks, What would be yore solution to the meltdown we's been promised iffin' nothin' doan happen in COngress?

moi said...

To Anon: We are a wealthy, generous people and we give when asked. Just look at what we raised to help out during Katrina and the tsunami. That's a lot of power . . . and it can be applied with great effect to local problems. I work with several local non-profit "charities" who each and every day do incredible work helping the needy. Communitarianism is much more effective than federal government programs that do nothing but perpetuate waste and apathy.

What would I do if I were in charge of this crisis? Dismantle Fannie and Freddie, the Federal Reserve, and any other government-supported "economic" program. Then I'd put the government on a budget, which they'd have to follow because I'd have us back on the Gold Standard, or something similar to ensure sound – not fiat – currency.

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Gee Aunty Belle!

I am speechless, except that never happens to me :(...so this one will be long!

I'll try to write like you (IN HONOR OF YOU) to show what you mean to me and this MIGHT BE YOUR BEST POST EVER...and I usually favor the back porch!

My spellin will be off, cause I can't do it like the original Aunty Belle that if she doesn't already own a PHD she should. I don't know WHO you ACTUALLY ARE...but givin' my history from my years in your country...I'd sure like to know...cause I'd like to buy you a damn nice dinner and shake your hand! Here goes...

Sees...I lived in Missipi for a while, my Daddy used to live in Loosiana... I didn't have nothin then, but I had more than some days. I's hard nosed and kept it to the grind stone and climbed up a rung or two each quarter of each year I lived there. Knew a few impotent folk or two while's I was there. Don't talk to 'em now...but I knew 'em then. I tried hard to be a better folk, and rise up to all good.

I came to Missipi as a manager workin for the man...lookin for a bigger opportunity. I got it...and then some. Met me some celebrities, wore a few sparkly dresses and went to some impotent parties...but I left after 4 years, not for bad reasons necessary, but for reasons of my own.

I came back to this here Nevada and did good. I's stayed single 'cause all the lookin' men weren't no different than Ned. But I met a man not so much different than Uncle...and I married him. Few years later...We's opened up ourselves a "pork rind plant", excepten' we fixes engines, transmissions, and the such...we own garages. We's just dirty ole' folks.

Started with only 4 folks willin to git dirty and greasy. Now...lawdy...there's two garages, one for pickups and one for big rigs and trailers... Don't know how the Lord blessed us with 22 folks willin to git dirty and make only between $14 & $28 dollars per hour...

See...we's appreciate the folks willing to git dirty and make pork rinds...hmmnnn...fix trucks. Don't nobody at my place make that min-num wage. They's got benifits too...som insur'nce and some 402K, and some AFLAC (don't you love the DUCK)...got gas cards too sum of 'em...don't have to worry about fillin up they's vehicles to travel a few blocks to work...

And ya knows...I get it...they's NOT HAPPy that I have a house on tha hill...I's the man keepin 'em down. But when they all cryin po mouth and sadness...and me and "my uncle" go home and have us a nice PBJ sandwich fo supper and have us a little spark in bed...

They's all still at the bar payin $4 bucks a beer to bitch about me an payin $6 bucks for smokes to get 'em through the night!

Why's they not at home with they missus or uncle havin some Ramen noodles or burger helper? Hell...you's can buy a 1/2 gallon of Seagram's 7 for $19 and buy 2 get 3 free 12 packs of that 7-Up at Safeway anyday! Drinks at my home bar are 'bout $.50 cents a piece as I see 'em...or sorta...

And then...when one of they's spouses gets fired...and gets on the un-mployment... get's offered a job right before the man's gonna take the house...says this damn shit to me...

"I had an offer...it was only $10.50 per hour...I didn't take it...un'mployment pays more"!

So...THANKS BELLE...YOU NEVER HIT IT MORE ON THE HEAD THAN THIS POST...I'M GONNA LINK IT...PASS IT...PRAISE IT...AND THANK GOD there are people like you that can write like no one else :)

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