Li'l Mackie Jenson wandered over t'other mornin' in his PJ bottoms. It were early and so the back porch door was open on account of Uncle bein' out to refill bird feeders.
"Ya' got any toast?"
Me: "Mack-man, honey, is yore daddy up yet?"
Mackie eyed the biscuits and nodded his sleepy haid.
Uncle: "Do yore daddy know youse up?"
Mackie jes' stood gazin' at the table. "Biscuits are good wif' jelly."
Me: "Fix the chile' some biscuits and pour him some milk, Aloysius. I better git on upstairs and thrown on some clothes afore Mitch comes huntin' the boy." ( I was in mah customary batiste, which, in mah view, is the proper vestment fer ladies afore 9 a.m. on Saturday unless ya got a row to hoe afore the sun is up. [for more on adventures in batiste nightgown, see archives Jan 2007 "What thrillin' lives do ya'll lead"] )
Weren't long til I heered another male voice.
"I'se sorry Aloysius fer the bother. The boy jes' slipped out when I was out in the buggy barn."
Uncle: "No harm a'tall... he's a fine young'un and we's charmed to have him. But, Mitch, lemme ask ya somethin'. How many kinds of jelly ya got open at yore place? Looky here--see? That woman has six, S I X, jars of jelly open at one dern time! Mackie as't fer grape jelly, and I go ter lookin' in the icebox and danged if Belle ain't got a half a store's worth of jellies. Beats the dawg outa me how she can be so wasteful."
I washed up Mitch's cawfee cup, cleared little Mackie's place and tunned to glare at Aloysius.
Me: "Whas' in that refrigerator is MAH bidness, not yor'n. Does I rummage in yore tool box and declare thar's too many screw drivers? An' doan never refer to me as 'woman'."
Uncle: "T'aint the same Belle. Ain't no call fer such waste."
Me: "Youse showin' yore ignorance of decent cookin' and provisionin' then, thas' all I can say."
Uncle: "Why doan ya say WHY youse got so many open jars? What excuse does ya have?."
Me: "First, Aloysius, I doan need no 'excuse' fer how I run this kitchen. But to humor ya' and fill the gapin' holes in yore culinary edoocation this here is the reason fer multiple open jelly jars:
There's apple jelly fer givin' a purty glaze to things I bake, the hot pepper jelly goes in yore pork loin marinade, the guava jelly is what Miss Mattie Lou brung us cause ya' tole her it put ya' in memory of yore granny, and when she brung it, we opened it and had it with cream cheese and crackers. The mint jelly is what I mix into mah own fresh mint and vinegar sauce fer the leg of lamb we had last week, the blackberries is from our takin' the clan babies pickin' then we made some jam to put in the blackberry trifle we served the pastor last Sunday, and the peach preserves is from yore Aunt Winnie's orchard up in Georgia an' what ya love the most and had on yore own biscuits this very mornin'. Got all that? Now's ya' satisfied? "
Uncle: "Thar's no grape jelly. Mackie wanted grape."