Marriage Talk & Mint Julep Pie

Saturday nights is hard. Ya' go to dinner a few ranchettes down the road and it ain't no use expectin' the evening to be convivial. They's no hep fer it--seems at least one pair is gonna' git at it -- an' the rest of us polite types left wif our necks swivlin' from him ter her ter him and back agin.

Tonight was the marriage debate. The steak drippin's was hittin' the coals and smelled real fine, the pinot gris was icy, and uncle spied the dessert, a mint julep pie, an' all seemed well.

"Libba, that pie looks mighty fine," Uncle said.

"Oh I hope so--ya'll is guinea pigs for a new recipe I'se plannin' ter serve Sunday night when the Knustler's come fer suppa" she replied.

Felix barked, "Who Knustler's, Libba? I din't know we's havin' folks in on Sunday."

"Lix, I mentioned that we ought have professor Knustler and his wife over since their boy Gunther has taken Jolene dancin'a few times over at the Saddle and Spurs."

"Professor Knustler?? No MAM! We ain't havin' such as them over heah! And what does ya mean that Jolene is seein' their boy?"

"Oh, now Lix, doan go actin' like you ain't seen yore sister gettin' all sweet on that young fella. She's 28 and time's a'runnin' through her Levis iffin' ya know what I mean. Mayhap Gunther is the one."

"Woman, you got a bucket fer a haid!

Jolene ain't marryin' no son of a Darwinian and I ain't havin' no Darwinian sniffin' round over heah lookin' fer monkey tracks under the family tree."


Uncle ain't even tryin' ter hide his laughin' mug, and
Jack Mawbry has done spewed his Glenlivet all over the pony skin
campaign chair Felix is so proud of on account of it is the one
thang he salvaged from his granddady's huntin' camp.


"Why Felix," asked Kip, Jack Mawbry's
mid-western wife, "what's wrong with the
son of a Darwinian?"

"You mean besides havin' no brains? They ain't got no romance, that's what's wrong wif 'em! Ain't marryin' Jolene ter no gene centrist what' lookin' fer advancin' his gene pool and nuthin' more. That's that."

"What's a jean pool? What's Jolene's jeans got to do with it, Felix?" Kip wanted ter know and Felix threw her a man's "ya's dumber than a brick" look.

Uncle had ter git in the fracas, "Aw. C'mon Felix, it's a fact that Jolene in her jeans is shure to enhance anybody's gene pool."

Felix is red faced and madder than a hornet.

"This ain't a joke, ya'll. My kid sis ain't gonna spend her life with no fella what thinks matin' is mechanical. There's mystery, and romance to it, ain't always a rhyme or reason. "


"That how you got Libba? All romance and no gene centrism at all?" teased Jack.

"Jack, you ain't married to Kip fer no reason in the world that
makes any sense to any of us'uns -- she is from Iowa fer Maud's sake!
If evolution were true, you'd 'a married
DeeDee Jackson soon as she was of age."

"Who in the hell is DeeDee Jackson?"
wailed Kip.

Felix ignored her. Jack patted her hip and said, "Aw, she was jes' a brainy type with this county's best..."

"Evolution doan have nuthin' ter say about when the moon is right or her hair smells like fresh rain. Anybody what thinks fallin in love is nuthin' but phernomes and hormones ain't worth marryin'--that type oughta jes git hisself a test tube and make the perfect gene pool combo baby and leave li'l Jolene alone!"

Uncle is havin' too good a time wif this.

"Whas' dern funny 'bout them Darwin folks is, they thinks they's all objective-like, very scientific, but they ain't. Ain't nuthin' objective in favor of me marryin' Belle, or you snaggin' Libba, thas' fer shure."

In the kitchen, Libba chuckled and shook her haid, "If evolution were true, why by now there would be no men left, only sperm banks. Ya'll see the news about that Israeli woman gettin' sperm outa her dead soldier son so she could have grandchildren?"

I said, "Seems ter me iffin' evolution were the motive fer matin' then eve'r cave man woulda made off with a woman what already had a baby, so he'd know she was a producer."

Kip said, "Ain't it funny how it's menfolks that is the romantics?"

When the pie an' coffee was cleared away Jolene stopped in ter say Hi! on her way out fer the night. She has some fella wif' her that Felix thought must be the Darwinian son. "I guess this must be Gunther," he grunted.


"Naw, This heah is Jimmy Sawyer from over at the gun club --he's improvin' my aim."

Felix leaned over to whisper, "what happened to Gunther?"

"BOR-ing! Oh, he's all right, Lix, 'cept he cain't even whistle a tune. What use is a man what cain't whistle? Jimmy here? Why there ain't nuthin' he doan know how ter whistle. G'night, ya'll."

Felix poured a drink. He smiled like an ole' fox. "Ya'll...reckon how it is that whistlin' improves the gene pool?"


Libba's Mint Julep Pie

Ingredients:

3/4 cup superfine sugar
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 and 1/2 cups milk
3/4 cup of heavy cream
3-ounce package cream cheese, smashed up
3 eggs separated; reserve the whites
1 tsp pure vanilla
4 tablespoons Jack Black (bourbon)
2 tablespoons green Creme de Menthe
1 tbs Creme de Cocoa


Cookie Crust:
1/2 cup + 1 Tbs all-purpose flour
3/4 cup crushed chocolate wafer cookies
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup butter
4 tablespoons finely chopped pecans or even better, pecan meal
3 to 4 tablespoons water
1 ounce melted bitttersweet chocolate

Assembly
Mix together crushed cookies, flour, salt. Cut in butter until the mixtures is crumbly, then add pecans. Sprinkle 2-3 tablespoons water over cookie mix, blend with a fork until dough can be rolled into a ball.

Cover surface with wax paper, flatten dough, and cover with more wax paper, then roll crust into a 12-inch circle, remove top paper, then lift bottom paper and flip crust into 9 inch pie plate; flute edges. Prick bottom of the crust with a fork. Bake in a 425 F oven for 12-15 minutes or till pastry is set. When still warm, brush bottom of crust with melted chocolate, allow to harden.

Filling:

Whip egg whites until stiff but not dry (hold a peak) and set aside.

In a 2-quart saucepan add together sugar, cornstarch and salt. Gently stir in the milk, then cream. Add the cream cheese. Stir over low heat till mixture is thickened VERY gradually stir about 1 cup of the hot mixture into the beaten egg yolks; return eggs and cream mixture to remaining filling cream the saucepan. Cook stirring constantly on LOW heat for 2 minutes. Take care not to boil. Remove from heat and cool to room temp. Stir Creme de Cocoa into whipped egg whites and then fold the whites into the cooled cream filling.

Stir in the Jack Black, the Creme de Menthe, and vanilla. Pour into the cookie crust. Chill 6 hours. Garnish your pie with whipped cream drizzled with green Creme de Menthe, a few chocolate curls and a spring of fresh mint.