And the Winner is....

Hey hey, ya'll!

The Limerick Contest is concluded. Din't we have fun?? Hooray fer all you poets!

It were so tough to make a decision...but decide we did. Uncle has his favorite which be's the runner up, and Aunty bit her lip and squeezed her eyes tight--ooooh!-- it is so hard to make this award!

Here is the entries in no particular order:

SophieMae said

My brother-in-law in Savannah
Was expecting a visit from Hannah
So he bought him a boat
And was ready to float
From his home to his job as a cannuh


Fishy said...

A baalloonist soard very high in the sky,
Then suddenly streamed toward Earth to die!
"Oh no! Can't be!", our Aunty cried,
"I will catch him", an angel replied,
"Can't let this happen before Belle's eye!
* * *
Belle's got herself a new coppery kitchen,
Now all can stop their infernal bitchin.
That Wishy was proud
He said so aloud
Now Aunty's back fixin the chicken!

boneman said...

I spose I'm too late, sakes alive.
For'th' lim'ricks contestin' jive.
Though we don't see eye to eye
('zit the politics? oh me oh my...
No. It's cause you're petite and I'm near six foot five.

But, just so y'know, I still use it
heard it important t'not abuse it.
The book marker, I'm saying young miss
What'de you think? Oh my goodness!
Well, once you're reading, y'just don't want to quit.

The Troll said...

There once was a silvery Filly
who blazed whether warm or chilly.
The old railbirds said
Her Sire was Big Red.
So betting against her is silly.

* *

Limerick for Lady's Secret.

A decent horse called Big Brown
was trained by a fat doper Clown.
That clown even said:
"He's as good as Big Red".
But two wins is NOT a Triple Crown.

A sneaky young Thai from Phuket
carried two cans and a bucket.
As petrol prices rose,
he'd take his siphon hose,
Put it in your tank and then suck it.

The Big Shamu said...

From my blog's better half:

When I talk about my favorite metal,
you'll find that I'm speaking in kettles.
A nice wholesale lot,
of good copper pots
considerably increases my fettle.

moi said...

Now that Moi’s deadline no longer looms
A’ shopping she’s going for shoes
Booties in patent for fall
And stilettos quite tall
Are like sunshine chasing the blues.



Nanc Twop said...

`
`
`
Old Fay was jes' a tropical stor'm
Til she found Auntie's bloomers n tore'm
Mad Belle chased her away
Clear from August to May
Now our fave Porch is back to the nor'm!

Java Junkie

A shutterbug gal named Shamu
once decided to shoot her tofu.
The result she acquired
left her mighty inspired
to focus and click 'fore she chews.

Bace Man said...

In Denver a 'temple' is standing
75K in attendance demanding
It's Obama they want
Not Hillary to haunt
But McCain, the rain he is planning

For now picked is his running mate
In this game which seems a bit late
Star versus old
Charisma against bold
This battle may prove to be great

K9 said...

have you seen the demo convention?
the horrors too many to mention!
pelosi's "100" high on they hogs
the folks on the floor gorged on hot dogs
while awaiting Obama's ascension

SophieMae said...

My heart starts to go all aflutter
When I look 'round at all of my clutter
My brain turns to fluff
Amongst so much stuff
'twould cause even a preacher to sputter

foam said...

foam looks askance
at the political dance
at the posturing prance of each stance..
she squirms in advance
at the thrust of each lance
since grimaced barbs are not left to chance.

**

i do know an aunty belle..
who once climbed up a ladder and fell ..
upon her keister quite well..
ouch, she said with a yell..
my batiste did tear rather schnell..

Java Junkie

said...

We revel in all things porcine -
of it's virtues we just must opine.
If you'll cook up some bacon,
we're yours for the takin'
for pork on a fork is sublime!

What'd ya'll think after review?

Dum dum dumm....may we have the enveloped please?



The honorable mention was Uncles' favorite:
From The Troll:

There once was a silvery Filly
who blazed whether warm or chilly.
The old railbirds said
Her Sire was Big Red.
So betting against her is silly.

And the winner is....is ....is ...

It's a TIE!

First place goes to
Java Junkie fer this:

We revel in all things porcine -
of it's virtues we just must opine.
If you'll cook up some bacon,
we're yours for the takin'
for pork on a fork is sublime!

And also to SophieMae fer this:


My brother-in-law in Savannah
Was expecting a visit from Hannah
So he bought him a boat
And was ready to float
From his home to his job as a cannuh


(winners, please email me the address whar' I should send your prize, a token of mah esteem fer yore creative gems)

I'se almost sorry fer startin' this--since all these entries has been fun, a chuckle, a real hoot. EVERYBODY really did well. Thanky thanky thanky!!!

Be a Winner!

I got this email note:

"Did you see that X*X*X* was an Olympic sinner?"



No. I ain't seen that event. ( I know I know!! I'se unreliable and a cheat-I did see some of it them games.)

Of course, what my correspondent meant was "winner", jes' hit one key down, heh heh.

I'se in misery. Deadline hell. Cain't play wif' mah blogger folks--dang it!

So I thought I'd spread the misery around some. If I gotta write, least ya'll can do is keep me company. Okay?

Please leave me a limerick --'member last year's contest??

I DID award an actual prize (not a cyber prize) and will again send some token of mah esteem, to the sinner...ah, that is, WINNER.



A limerick refresher course: a five line poem where the first, second and fifth lines rhyme, and the third and fourth lines rhyme, hence the rhyming line scheme of AABBA. Typically the first "A" lines (first, second and fifth) have 8-9 syllables and the middle couplet have 5-6 syllables. The key is that all three "A" lines is best when they have the same number of syllables, and the couplet ("B") lines should have the same number of syllables. The rhythm is as important as the rhyme.

Here's examples plucked from the net:

There was a young lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died.
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
And made cyder inside her inside.


In choosing words, some are verbose
That render their wit adipose
Give me tight-writ precision
For verse of concision
And make every word serve the best prose.



Now, as in them Olympics, ya' can increase yore score by choosin' a limerick of higher difficulty. Extra points if yore limerick reflects what we know of ya' from your own blogger profile--here is an example that would apply to Big Shamu and Java Junkie:

I prefer living my life adagio
Doing nothing more strained than intaglio
Or a book at compline
With a glass of white wine
And some artisan bread and fromaggio.


or, fer extry points, spin a limerick about any recent blog topic:

A pesky chattering squirrel,
I shot wif mah derringer of pearl
He lost his prized nuts
And 'bout half his guts
Now he sings like a little girl.


Ya' can be a wee bit risque,
limericks is funnier that way
but please doan overdo
it disqualifies you
thas' what Uncle tole me to say.

Now iffin' ya had a lot of fun, enter as many limericks as ya' please. Contest open until Midnight Sunday Aug 31, PST.

I'll be seein' ya'! (Contest alert)

Ya'll, Aunty is "leavin', on a jet plane, doan know when I'll be back again..."

Soon enough I'll fine mah way home, meanwhile, I shure wish you sweet thangs would leave me a welcome home poem--a special kinda poem, a limerick.

I'se draggin' home an eye-talian souvenir for whichever one of ya'll writes the best-est limerick.

It's easy to write--and FUN!

Limericks are five lines long and the rhyme pattern for the lines is AABBA

Mostly the meter is: 8 -9 syllables in each "A" line, 5 or 6 syllables in the two "B" lines. (lines 3&4 are short)

Here's a cracker example:

Aunty Belle’s jaws, they won’t be flappin,

Cause her toes, they’s jes’ a tappin’

She’s itiching ter roam free

O'er tha'r in Italy

But left Uncle on the porch nappin’.

Limericks can take spellin' lightly --part of the fun--or even adjust words so they will rhyme:

A young man of unknown idenity Went swimming in our vicinity Because he was nuda A blind baracuda Ran off with his masculinity

Usually the topics is funny or even nonsensical:

There was an old person of Florence,
Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
He purchased a Bustard,
And fried him in Mustard,
Which choked that old person of Florence.

That one is from Edward Lear--famous fer limericks:

http://www.nonsenselit.org/Lear/MN/mn100.html

Ya'll already knows some limericks:

What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails
And puppy-dog tails,
That's what little boys are made of.

The limericks can be a tongue-in -cheek commentary on current discussions:

There once was a monkey at the zoo
Who had a lot of growing up to do,
He'd ring a doorbell,
then run like hell,
Until the owner shot him with a .22


Said an ape as he swung by his tail,
to his off-spring, both girly and male
"From your progeny, my dears,
in a just a few years
there'll evolve professors at Yale."


They can even be a wee bit naughty (BUT not vulgar!) :

A swimmer whose clothing was strewed
By winds that left her quite nude
Saw a man stroll along
And unless we are wrong
You expected this line to be lewd!

An' note this here warning from a famous limerick writer:

The limerick is furtive and mean.
You must keep it in close quarantine,
Or she sneaks to the slums,
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.


Is ya'll game? Well, then...ter play fair make your doggerel original, keep it clean enough fer Aunty's tender eyes and ears, (mildly spicey is OK) and the try to make it pertain to our bloggin' folks or topics.

Ciao, ya'll.