Not mauled at the mall

Note: New Post on BACK Porch

I doan know about ya'll, but I'se mildly claustrophobic, so y'ain't gonna find me in no Mall the weekend after thanksgivin'. I doan give a hoot what all they's put on special, nuthin' is that special!

When I'se a teencracker, I was in the old Florida Bldg in downtown G'ville gettin' textbooks and on the way down the elevator done froze up. Thar I is, stuck all by myself a'tween floors in the dark...fer three hours.

By the time I'se rescued, I'se got a case of full blown claustrohobia. Ain't recovered much in the decades since.

But anyhoo, what I wanna ask is does ya'll go fer gettin' mauled in the mall? If so, what is so wonnerful that ya cain't wait a few days...why we's got folks lines up in sleepin' bags to beat the crowds--reckon ya heard too about the poor fella at a Walmart who was stomped to death over a flat screen TV.

Uncle is in the woods wif some clan menfolks, an I had a clan lady wif' me fer a few days an' we's done the girly stuff--oh yeah, sat up all night yakkin' an' picking over the Thanksgivin' leftovers, readin' the horror that is to come and why--see BACK Porch's new post--and schemin' how to survive the Obamanation years. We laughed and mocked the fearsome thangs--all great fun. So doan think if I mised the maulin' that I ain't had the swellest time this weekend--an' Granny is mendin' an all the kin is punch happy over that.

What we'uns figgered after we had lunch wif Pappy Cracker today is that life may not be quite this good again fer a spell..mebbe so, mebbe not, but fer today it were a fine fine time.

Hope ya'll is all content this weekend and have someone to love and feel loved--after all, what else is thar, really?

Okay, thar' is a Gator victory ...heh. (28 -9 Gators as I type)


Anonymous said...


h said...

I don't like shopping at all. As to the bigger picture, I'm perfectly capable of being content whilst the Nation as a Whole suffers under the Traitor-Democrat-Party-Of-Filth.

SophieMae said...

Don't reckon there's any deal good enough to get me out there. I might visit the mall once every year or so as is. I did TRY to run into Target late Friday afternoon, since I had to be up thataway, anyhow. But it was pouring, so I did some sudokus in the car for a while, than gave up and went on home... by way of our local WM, where I bought myownself a sewin' machine and a few pieces of fabric. Not too busy at all.

That WM stampede was beyond sad. And the people got mad when they closed the place for a while. Heaven forbid we interrupt their shopping spree. Like my ol' gran used to say... '... people in this world'.

Anonymous said...

So glad you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and no...nothing on earth would get me shopping in those crowds.

R.Powers said...

Happy for Granny!!
Leftovers are the best. I could eat turkey sandwiches daily.

I don't mall shop at any time unless forced to due to a singular store in that location.
I plan to do almost all my shoppin on line this year.
No malls for 40 miles or so anyway.

Aunty Belle said...

Hey ya'll!!

Welcome to the Porch, Paul!

Troll-Man, heh--Gators RULE!

SophieMae, Baby Doll, les' us start a movement--all homemade home grown Christmas--stay outta the malls, folks!

Romany Angel, hey Gypsy Lady!! I knowed youse sensible--no malls--my new mantra. Make it, bake it, grow it, sew it.

FC, master of the mantle! I thinks you and Uncle is on the same porch--he would eat turkey fer BLD, so, is ya surprised I cooked TWO turkeys? Some to send to the huntin' camp fer the fellas....heh, ain't I good ole Aunty?

fishy said...

Hello Aunty Belle! it was good to hear you and your kin had a blessed Thanksgiving with plenty o family visiting. I reckon sometime when I get my courage up I will go on down to the back porch and read about the dread to come. Glad granny is mending.

The Java Junkie said...

Aunty, I hadn't done the black Friday thing in years - not since the little ones were out of the house. But...a dear friend asked me to go to Toys R Us, at 5 a.m. no less, and after trying to convey the horrors I had experienced in earlier years to no avail, I sighed and said yes. We parked two lots away and walked (in the snow)to the store only to find shoulder to shoulder customers, items littering the floor, a line that snaked through every aisle and disgruntled employees everywhere. I said "Now, is there one single thing that you need so badly that you're willing to go in there for it?" "Nope" said she. Lesson learned. We went back to her house and had coffee and leftover pumpkin pie for breakfast. :)

Jenny said...

I prefer to do most of my shopping online for this very reason.

NYD said...

I have never bought into the commercial aspects of the holidays so there is very little chance of seeing me anywhere near a mall.