I ain't !
Nobody can make me.
I'd rather scrub floors.
Doan think ya' can persuade me.
Nuthin' is glittery enough to catch mah eye,
No bargain is big enough...
I ain't gonna git in mah buggy and slug it out wif' all them fierce red- eyed wimmin at no dern mall whar' they's all seein' who can raise blisters on AMEX cards afore they blister they bunions .
Mah sister -in-law akshully wears a T-shirt that reads "I was mauled in the Greedy Gap Mall"
NOPE -- the day after Thanksgivn' is mah signal to hibernate. Hunker down wif' a stack of books, clean the silver, organize the pantry.
For no one and no thing would Aunty set foot in no mall, boutique, not even
Madison Avenue .
Iffin' ya'll has the shoppin' fever, mah condolences. (but I'se happy to hear about yore war wounds.)