* Random Thoughts Meme-- Ringing mah Belle

I got meself lost in the blogger cosmos--I thought mebbe Boney or Red or someone done ast me to do the eight- random- things- about- me- meme--but I doan know whar' it were mentioned it...so mebbe nobody tagged Aunty Belle...oh well, I'se doin' it any way!

Eight Random Aunty Belle infofacts, wif' guest appearances by Uncle Aloysius:


1. I'se a snob about chocolate and coffee
--no cheap versions need apply ter mah mouth.






2. When I was 5 years old I had a breasts big enough fer a brassiere...fer about two days. My sister (4 yers) and me was makin' a game outa stompin' on the bees in the patches of clover in our back yard...and I put the stomped bees in mah shirt pockets so I could save 'em in a jar...but when they roused from stomped stupor they was mad as hornets and stung the hell outa me wee little nipples until I'se a child prodigy in the chest.




3. I out arm-wrestled a high school senior boy swimmer in the lunchroom when I was a sophomore...an mah mama said that were real dumb. (That boy weren't Uncle... I weren't THAT dumb.)


3. Uncle and me eloped....twice. First time them North Caroliny folks did not believe I was 18 and old enough to do the deed, so we had ter try again the next week after I got a birth certificate ter back up mah driver's license. It is a long haul from Floridy to Charlotte jes' ter git hitched.


AN' nobody told me I'd have ter git mah blood drawn..
I mean, I wasn't all that shure that Uncle was worth a needle...
I is needle phobic....an 'I'se still not shure it were worth it.





But I thought I had ter do it. We was in different colleges 100 miles apart by then. But that wern't far enough for mah Daddy. Daddy din't care fer Uncle a whit. Trouble was, Daddy went ter bed early on Friday nights-- with his National Geographic...and Mama were a night owl. AN Aunty had the earliest curfew in the county. So the scene were set. Uncle brought me home in accord wif' mah curfew...and Mama made me go ter bed upstairs. Uh-huh. Ya'll see what's a comin'?

It were too early fer Uncle to go the the after-date- hang-out cause his buddies had girls with less draconian curfews. So Mama and Uncle sat up watchin' Johnny Carson until it were late enough fer Uncle to meet up wif his fellas and see who had made any scores that night. After a few months of this routine, Uncle (18) asked Mama (35) iffin' he could git somethin' ter drink.

Mama:"Shure honey...look in the fridge --they's some A&W, an' orange sodas."

Uncle: "I mean, do you have any liquor?" I know (now) there must have been a wolfish grin on Uncle's face. An' mah Mama called ME dumb????

Well, what mah daddy learned after a spell was that SOMEbody had taught his child bride how to drink screwdrivers. This was dang strange since to that point, Mama ain't never had a drink in her life...though Daddy did onc't in awhile, an' he kept a bottle of vodka fer guests. Does I need ter tell ya'll that things between Daddy and Uncle were never the same? When I went off ter school, Daddy thought that was that. But it wern't. So...

Daddy done made up his mind ter send me off ter Spain fer a Junior Year Abroad set-up...onliest way not to be parted fer a whole year was fer us hitch-up. So we did.

5. I ain't had a drink of no hard likker-- ever...waitin' til I'se old enough fer it. (Wine is fine!) Uncle makes up fer mah lack in this area. He has been waitin' a mighty long time ter see me fall on mah fanny...ha! Uncle can sing The Ballad of Thunder Road better'n anybody ya ever heard..jes' give him a couple of tall Jack Blacks and he'll prove it.
[ And there was thunder thunder on that Thunder Road Thunder was his engine, white lightning was his load.... There was moonshine moonshine to quench the devil's thirst The G men swore they'd get him, but the dev-il got him first.]

6. Ya' doan wanna play poker wif' Aunty.



Iffin' I bets, youse toast. I never, ever bluff. Never. But nobody believes me. Why is that?

7. Onliest person that can dance bettern' me is...Uncle. Well, that's not true no more...I'se a tad down in the back, and doan dance no more. He still a goin', so when we go ter a dancin' shindig, I gotta find some gal who'll take up mah slack.







8. I might have been a surfer girl, loved it the first time I tried it....jes' loved it! Some boys was showin' me all the coolest tricks. Then Uncle came a tearin' down the beach and ordered me offa that board. He hollered and carried on so...stompin' in the sand like a bull, an' his face was a thundercloud and I admit I was scared of him and so I paddled on in like he told me....
iffin' I hadn't a been five months pregnant with the first edition, I think he'd popped me one.