Does ya'll go ter dinner next door?

It's jes' been so hot heah that we been through three pitchers of lemonade today! Lawdy. But tonight we'uns is dining out--well, next door. Course, Uncle doan wanna go...he is picky 'bout vittles.

"What will Thelma make for dinner, Belle?" Uncle as't me.

"How'd I know, Sweet Potato? I cain't see in her kitchen window from heah."

"Why din't ya ask her, Belle? Mayhap she's makin' sompin' wif uhnions "

"Aloysius, ya knows that cultured folks doan say: 'tell me what'cha cooking so I knows whether ter come or not', wouldn't that be rude?"

"Wha's rude is upchuckin' uhnions on Thelma Lou's new Berber"

Well, ya'll, I wish't I had jes' told Thelma Lou that Uncle was done in by heat stroke.

"Why ain't we goin' over ter Maud and Jake's?"

" 'Cause they din't ask us, thas' why. Besides, Maud cooks ev'r thang industrial strength, soaked in bacon drippin's."

"Whas' wrong wif bacon drippins, Belle? I likes it better'n glazed wif' siberian truffle essence, enhanced by seaweed reduction, an' heightend wif crushed nougatine of elk hoof?"

"Nobody never ended up a 'full-figured' 22 from eatin' nougatine of elk hoof, Aloysius. Have ya noticed what bacon drippins has done fer Maud lately?"

"Ya mean, Belle, that extra stuffin' ain't from Dr. Becker? "

"Dr. Becker? Is he the..."

"Not Pecker Becker, the urologist, Belle. I mean Titty Becker, the plastic fixer-upper."

"Aloysius, ya's ruinin' mah appetite."

Uncle is stuffin' his gullet wif pickled pork knuckles and velveeta on saltines, preparin' ter tell Thelma Lou he had a late lunch meetin'. Between bites he said,

"Well, leastways we ain't goin' ter Bonnie and Biff's...ain't been comfortable wif that pair ever since they moved to Longchamps and changed their names from Bertha and Bubba. Bonnie-Bertha doan make nuthin' now, but what she learned at that California Meditation and Nutrition Institute,over by Easlen. "California queezine, nuanced with Thai-dyed Haight-Assbury, echoing Mexicana influences of Aztec choopultepek. Does ya wonder that Bubba--er, Biff, slips down ter the pool hall fer hot dog now and then?"


Infinitesimal said...

And so begs the question....

What does Titty Pecker do for a living??

..................... said...

I'm guessing...
I wouldn't find your Aloysious at a sushi bar eating seaweed salad?

Aunty Belle said...

Oh mah heavens! Contessa, I'se jes' so pleased ter see ya! Heah honey...heah's yore favorite chair.

Why, chile, youse real funny! Dr. Titty Pecker, Ho! Wellllll, now--ackshully, would'ja believe that in this heah town we does have a Dr. Bottomly whose a proctologist? And a Dr. Bowser who--natcherly--is a vetinarian.

Schaumi, does ya cook honey? Hep me. What does ya feed a fella that doan wanna have no mo' garlic cause he thinks it bothers his innards, is apoplectic over uhnions down to an' includin'chives, won't permit no celery or green peppers, ain't keen on basil, rosemary or thyme, will barely tolerate parsely. I de-clare! What does ya feed this man???

Well, I'se gotta give a bit of credit--he does eat seviche iffin' there is enough lime juice. An' I did jes' make some raw kibbe, Lebanese style fer a family shin-dig, and he done had a belly full. Thas' cause them uhnions was pureed --outta sight, outta mind.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Aunty- It would seem to me that you must bake or fry a lot of chicken, or pot roast- with rice and or potatoes...carrots maybe, and peas or corn?
Gets boring after a while, doesn't it? I've got a son who is as picky as I am adventurous! I'm eating sushi- and he wants a hamburger...ick!
LOL :)
Just came by to "set a spell"...I do enjoy my visits with you :)

On My Watch said...

offer a can of vienna sausage as a treat for any 'new' thing he tries out, shoogah.

Lady Prism said...

Aunty Belle!!!...You home?...I baked you some sweet " Brazo de Mercedes"...It's some sort of custard cake..really sweet good!...

aaahhh...itz'...lovely to be here!

sparringK9 said...

/bark bark bark

feed the poor man STEAK! you caint go wrong there.
or.......sompin' gamey like.


Aunty Belle said...

Hey Mayden Lass, yep, lots of "home cookin'" like collards an hawg jowls wif a side tub of cheese grits....as if home cooking couldn't be seared sea bass wif mango salsa--yum! Give that boy of yours some steak tartar to git him ready fer sushi.

OnMyWatch! Yeah--thas' a good plan--in fact, Viennas is one thang Uncle likes ter put wif them velveeta saltines--yiick! So ya thinks if I bribes him I may tease him into some Osso Bucco?

Luxlucisvita, oh puddin', Luxy lovey, I'se so tickeled ter see ya--honey--put that recipe up heah today!! I'se gonna try it--why Uncle is a puddin maniac--onc't he done
et up an entire baking dish of baked custard--ya know, the 9x11 size dish!! I'd be shur obliged ter ya iffin' ya share that Brazo de Mercedes wif me.

Hey Pup! Dawg, is ya a clary voyuer?
How'd ya divine that Uncle Aloysius is partial ter woods food like deer tenderloin and sawmp cabbage (Q, you out theah? Uncle is nearby as we speak gettin' some o' dat cabbage).
Don't fergit, K9 Pup, Aunty will rustle up yore Cheese Grits anytime ya' heads thisaway.

Contessa Infinitessima, honey did ya see whar' I done tried ter join yer game, but mah browser doan "see" what the directions are...an goin' back I also cain't see yore pics--drat!!!

Aunty Belle said...

Luxxy? wait, wait wait! Is this puddin' ya's waxing lyrical over the prelude ter Sage Thymme and Damask? Jes' need ter know afore I take on a bigger project than I had in mind wif making dessert!!

An' speakin' of puddin..er Mayden and Tessima, I done read ya'll--uh-huh...Aunty sees ya'll is girls jes' wanna have fun sorts....whoo-ee!

On My Watch said...

absolutely! to seal the deal you could offer moonpies and RC cola for dessert, or if it gets really bad, strawberry hill should do the trick.

..................... said...

well, you could always fry him up a batch of fried apple pies ...
and before that he could have fried chicken, field peas, lima beans, creamed corn, sliced tomatoes, biscuits......
this menu comes from my 1/2 mississippi side (except the fried apple pies.....that comes from living here in NC). i rarely cook like that anymore but i'm getting hungry just thinkin' about all this food.

Lady Prism said...

I was eating the sweet thing yesterday ( zee' Brazo de Mercedes ) there and thought of you...Was thinkin' it would be lovely if I could really just really climb up your lovely front porch a' bearing this lovely cake to share with you and Uncle there...just sittin' in your lovely porch with this cake...sharin' it with you and uncle and mayden and infinitesimal and K9 and anybody else who would like to have a slice...I will post the recipe...sometime soon...ye'...juz' as soon as I finish up typing these exams I have to submit tomorrow...darn' I'm cramming!

Lady Prism said...

course' Schaumi gets a big slice as well!

Aunty Belle said...

OnMyWatch, yeah! Moon Pies...Lawdy chile' done fergot them thangs--ho-whee! Heh-heh...funny, cause if I put out RC Cola Uncle is gonna be lookin' fer Fatima! ("Let me tell you 'bout Ahab The Arab
The Sheik of the burning sand...")

Schaumi!! Baby doll!! FIELD PEAS????
(moan...) Honey, git'cha self right over heah---mah freezer is full up wif' em--well...acksuslly they fancy cousin, Acre Peas--or Lady Peas and ya KNOWS they is dearer than gold. Why, cain't be no Thanksgivin' in Aunty's house lessen' we gots a tub of Acre peas cooked wif ham hocks....moan... Mississippi? Mayhap we's cusins--I'se got Mississippi connections too.

LuxLuci, honey, Aunty gots yore chair plumped up wif pillows..c'mon , darlin' and vist wif' us--UNcle is right partial ter young womenfolk---Mah Contessa, and Mayden Fair, Onmywatch, and you and Schaumi, but ya'll be mindful of his heart--the poor ole' dear can jes' take so much feminine beauty at a time! Add in that puddin' and he could be a goner!

..................... said...

acres peas with ham hocks, yum...
my arteries are just cloggin' thinking about it.

sparringK9 said...

hey aunty belle,

long time no see, huh?

tonight its just me and trout and some local trout. im gonna pan fry it and dress it with pecan meal and brown sugar and butter. ive got wild rice and some fresh corn i bought from the road stand and i scraped it down to the milk for creamed corn. i figure i can get out for under 3000 calories. big choc chip cookies for zert.

i'll clog up with schaumi.

aunty, you should see the field. fresh cut. and the ferns on the creek bank are luch and full. almost as nice as yur back yard 9from the looks of your pictures) i havent made a new post in eons...maybe tomorrow after i visit the rooster man.

see ya! gn

Malinda777 said...

Girl, you make me both hungry and homesick... Love the blog...

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